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Woman Falls 40 Feet At Soldier Field, Survives. That Can Happen To Anyone...I Fell Over The Railing At Soldier Field

soldier field

(WGNTV)–Police say a woman was hospitalized after accidentally falling about 40 feet (12 meters) from an upper level at Chicago’s Soldier Field while attending a men’s soccer tournament.

Chicago police said in a statement that the 23-year-old woman was taken to a hospital in stable condition following the fall Sunday night during the CONCACAF Gold Cup final.

Police spokeswoman Ana Pacheco tells the Chicago Tribune that the woman wasn’t badly hurt and “was very lucky.”

This is absolutely horrifying. Glad to hear that she’s in stable condition. One of my biggest fears is being a little too drunk or a little too rowdy or both at a sporting event and plumeting to my death. I am actually surprised it doesn’t happen more often. And the reason why I am surprised and the reason why I’m scared is because this happened to me at Soldier Field in the Summer of…roughly my early 20s?(I hate that so much time has passed that my early 20s were a decade ago).

I’ll set the stage for you. The sun is shining bright on a beautiful June day back when June in Chicago used to actually be warm and sunny. It’s roughly 10am so I’ve begun drinking as is customery for a 23 year-old moron on the day of a big concert. The concert that day included chart toppers like Big&Rich, Sugarland, someone I can’t remember, and the big Kahuna of summer music, Kenny Chesney.

At this stage of my life I still saw an unspoken correlation between how much you could drink and how big your dick was so I drank that day…a lot. That’s part of being Irish. The other part of being Irish is pasty white skin which when combined with heat, sun, and alcohol is a recipe for disaster. We decided to walk down from my friend’s studio apartment in the south loop with what would later become “pink whitneys” in Dasani water bottles to the stadium.

When get into the stadium and Big&Rich came on first with that one song that isn’t the College Gameday song, but the other one

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Nobody was really paying attention because it was too early in the day to be saving horses and riding cowboys, so we decided to chase the pink whitneys with those disgusting margarita slushies in the big weirdly shaped cups

margarita cup

By the end of the Big&Rich set the stadium was ready to party, and by stadium I mean possibly just me because I don’t really recall much of this part of the night. I was ready to dance. Brown out, golden hour, and Sugarland taking the stage. Sugarland has some GREAT white people dancing music and I was not going to miss this opportunity

When Sugarland hits the “OOH OOH OOOH OOOOOH” part of that song please step away from the railing. Specifically, this railing.

soldier field section

Avoid that railing while dancing because that is how you fall over it. Now, this wasn a big drop. Not the 40 feet the woman fell from. It was maybe like 10-12 feet if I had to guess, but fucking scary nonetheless while you’re doing a half rotation and landing on another railing. That type of adrenaline will sober you up real quick. So quick that within a second I could see security guards and ushers racing towards me. Racing towards me an hour before Kenny Chesney came on so I popped up and sprinted up the escalator as they chased me. I dipped into the bathroom and sat on the stall for roughly an hour as I continued to sober up. Then I decided it was safe to try to go back to my seat because the sun was fully down. I ditched my shirt so nobody would recognize me because

I walked casually back to my seat where my friend group was waiting for me. Nobody went to look for me(dicks) and we just enjoyed the night with Kenny and 60k other people and nobody from the security staff came to bother us and we continued to drink and dance away from the stadium. I left with a good time, a fuzzy memory, and an Ovechkin-like leg bruise

bruise

So yeah, just be careful out there. It’s easy to take a digger over the railing.