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The Show Goes On: Don Cherry Ain't Going Nowhere, You Candy Asses

grapes-jerks

Steve Simmons is a Canadian journalist who is most famous for complaining about the Toronto Blue Jays not turning on the soda machine in the press box early enough and also making up the story about Phil Kessel eating a hot dog every afternoon on his way to Air Canada Centre. So as far as credibility goes, Steve Simmons to reliable journalism is like the Toronto Maple Leafs to Stanley Cups since 1967.

Which would explain why everyone was a little skeptical when he threw out this little rumor out of nowhere on Saturday.

One thing that hasn’t been confirmed for the next season of Hockey Night In Canada: the return of Don Cherry and Coach’s Corner. Rogers is cutting all over the place, which included the removal of Bob McCown on radio and television and Doug MacLean doing the same. Cherry is handsomely compensated for his work. Not sure if this is a place they want to go with the 85-year-old.

What’s that saying again? You come at the King, you best not miss? Well not only did Steve Simmons miss, but he ended up skying this one over the glass and out of the rink entirely. And now he’s found himself directly in the crosshairs of The Grape of Wrath.

Yikes. I hope Steve Simmons has his passport ready because he might want to skip the country. Imagine waking up on a Monday morning and realizing you have now become the enemy of the most influential and powerful man in all of Canada. Some would even say the most influential and powerful man in all of the world. When Don Cherry speaks, the rest of the world shuts the h*ck up and listens. And now that Grapes has announced to the world that he’s not leaving? Well now he has the green light to hop back on Hockey Night In Canada on night 1 of the season and take his shot on Soda Pop Steve. And now all Soda Pop Steve can do is sit there and wait for the evisceration. Yikes yikes yikes.

Anyway. Aside from Steve Simmons, we should all be celebrating this joyous occasion. The hockey world needs Don Cherry more now than ever. As each day passes by, the hockey world gets softer and softer. Fighting is basically extinct, parents aren’t allowed to bitch out refs anymore, you have an entire organization in the NHL crying into their safe space because somebody called them a “bunch of jerks”. I’m sorry but this just isn’t the hockey that we all grew up knowing and loving. The only person who can save us is the only man who truly represents the past. That man is Don Cherry. He’s basically the Three Eyed Raven of hockey. We must cherish him, we must appreciate him, and we must protect him at all costs.

@BarstoolJordie