Every other guy on Earth would post a video of him mis-hitting a tee shot, blurting out some inappropriate sailor talk and apologizing to his group, get a few laughs and call it a day. But not Tom Brady. When you’re the GOAT of all human beings (Non-Deity Division; my and Kurt Warner’s Lord & Savior Jesus still holds that No. 1 spot), your simply Instagram video becomes an opportunity to make peace. To charm your former enemies into crawling to you on their hands and knees begging for the chance to be your ally.
What am I talking about? Just this:
That Patrick Peterson and that Antonio Cromartie. Former Brady-hating enemy combatants now coming to the negotiating table, suing for peace.
This would be the Patrick Peterson who was one of the most unabashed Deflategate Truthers.
This would be the Antonio Cromartie who is most famously remembered as the Father of Our Country, the man whose mighty sperm no vasectomy can stop. But who also once famously made headlines saying “Fuck Brady” because he’s “an asshole.”
Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, taking the baton from Rex Ryan, who criticized Tom Brady’s post-touchdown “antics” earlier this week, ripped into the Patriots quarterback in a profanity-laced rant Tuesday, calling him an “ass—-,” and claiming he hates him. …
“We see that a lot. He does it a lot,” Cromartie said. “That’s the kind of guy he is. We really don’t give a damn, to tell you the truth.”
Okay, what kind of guy is Brady?
But that was 2015 and 2011, respectively. This is now. I guess when you’ve had the success Brady has, sustained it as long as Brady continues to, and conduct yourself with the grace and dignity Brady does day in and day out, it’s impossible for people to stay mad at him. Some guys put in more effort to keep up the hatred. But eventually they all fail.
And I guess at a moment in time when the President of the United States is walking on North Korean soil having a face to face with the most Bond Villain-y dictator on the planet, anything is possible. Even the people who used to think Brady was a disrespectful asshole who needs to go fuck himself trying to grabass him on his Instagram account. It’s just swords being beaten into plowshares all around the world.
Tt’s especially rewarding for those of us who have been on the side of the angels all along. And to you few remaining holdouts in the Hater Brigade, the next move belongs to you.