Freak Storm Leaves Mexican City Buried In Several Feet Of Ice, And I Have The Perfect Cleanup Solution
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There’s some pretty surreal photos coming out after a freak storm came crashing down on the Mexican city & suburbs of Guadalajara. Within twenty minutes yesterday, the temperature dropped 15 degrees & it looked like a massive blizzard had swept through. Some areas saw nearly 5 feet of hail piled up, jamming the streets & burying cars.
Thankfully no one was hurt, but it’s safe to assume the spouse who insisted on skylights for that new addition is in hot water, & those in the windshield & window repair biz will be crushing it for the next couple of months.
Unfortunately damages will probably cost into the millions, but I have a quick money-making solution for the city. Much like Kentucky is known for it’s bourbon trail, Guadalajara is known for its tequila. In fact, you can take some sweet day trips from Guadalajara to the epicenter – the town of Tequila…
What I’m trying to say is, if they take all the surplus stockpiled there & send it pouring through the streets of Guadalajara, and each of us shows up with 2 buckets of mix to pour out + a very long straw, we can clean this mess up in no time. The salt trucks will already be adding a nice flavor to the sidewalk edges & it’ll be easy to throw a couple limes in there.
We simply roam the streets hoovering up that crushed-ice-marg & putting out good vibes. At the end of the night we’re absolutely hammered & go home with a sexy, mysterious man from the neighboring town of La Tijera. He’s a brilliant poetry professor with salt & pepper hair, tenure, & hands that could palm a basketball. You’re both pretty drunk as he puts on an old Cuco Sánchez record & fingerblasts you into the next century on his amazing hilltop patio.
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What a life… The sun is starting to come up & you feel like a hero for saving the town of Guadalajara. But wait, is that his garage door opening? Oh God… his wife is home early from a trip to her mother’s? What the fuck? He never told you that he was married, right? Everything is a blur, you scramble to gather your things & hightail it out of there but he’s telling you he’ll leave her for you and then wh….
Where was I? Right – basically – when life hands you a massive hail storm, make a margarita.
According to CNN:
The government of Jalisco has been working with the Mexican Army and Guadalajara and Tlaquepaque authorities to clean and remove hail from all public roads, the governor said, as well as support citizens whose homes were affected.
Perhaps the massive marg idea isn’t feasible, but I hope everyone both effected & helping out gets to have at least several this week. They probably need it.