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Philadelphia Hosted A Couple Of Gold Cup Games Yesterday So Obviously A Big Ol' Fight Broke Out In The Stands


What’s that saying again? “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” or something like that? Well in terms of historical significance and overall greatness, I’d put Philly right up there with Rome as one of the most important and influential cities in the world. So when in Philly, do as the Philly fans do.

There’s something special that happens as soon as you get down to the Sports Complex in Philly. You get this feeling like you’re invincible. You gain this sense of being something greater than you typically are. Maybe it’s because the beer is flowing like water. Maybe it’s just because Philadelphia was the first place that we decided that we, as Americans, were going to fight for our freedom and beat the everliving shit out of the British. I don’t know exactly what it is and I don’t know exactly why it is, but when you get down to the Sports Complex in Philly you’re just always ready to rumble.

So when a bunch of people travelled into this great city of ours to take in the sights of the 2019 Gold Cup and support their teams? Well they weren’t going to just sit in their seats and applaud kindly like they’re watching a chess tournament in London or some bullshit like that. They’re going to get all liquored up in the Jetro lot about 4-5 hours prior to game time, barely be functioning human beings by the time they get into Lincoln Financial Field, and then start beating the shit out of each other for no apparent reason in the middle of the game. Because we’re from Philadelphia and we fight.

And I realize that some folks in Philly don’t necessarily love the reputation we get as being “scumbag fans”, and I agree that every other fanbase in America has its fair share of scumbags as well. But I do enjoy the fact that Philly is basically the Wild West when it comes to being a fan at the game. We’re a relic of American greatness. If you want to settle your beefs, you do it like a bunch of men and you fight it out. You don’t talk about it like a bunch of bitch ass politicians. You go back to when America was great. You go back to the days when great American leaders like Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton would squash their beefs with a duel. And that’s exactly what you do when you’re in Philly to watch a sports game. I’m just glad all these people got to enjoy that experience.

P.S. – If you’re going to fight at the game, please do me a favor and just try your best to stay near your own seats. Nothing worse than when the fights keep spilling into different sections and then all of a sudden there are like 10 kids in the middle of everything. Just stay in your own section, beat the shit out of each other there, and don’t end up having to jump across an entire row of kids just to land a punch. That’s all I ask for.