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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

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Reader email – Here in Australia, juries do the right thing when asked to convict a SST:

Jury takes 15 minutes to acquit high school teacher who had sex with student

It’s a difference between us and the USA. We even make award winning feature length movies about them:

Cheers

As much as I’m not prone to questioning the claims of an SSToolie who took the time to write me from Australia, you’ll have to pardon me if I’m a little skeptical of the assertion their culture is somehow ahead of ours when it comes to Sex Scandal Teachers. In spite of their cinema, which seems like a movie I should watch.

But this is the article he sent:

A female teacher charged after having sex with a student of a North Queensland school where she was working at the time has been acquitted of unlawful carnal knowledge.

The District Court in Townsville heard Sarah Joy Guazzo seduced the then-16-year-old student, drove him to secluded locations, gave him alcohol and had sex with him on several occasions in 2016. …

During proceedings, it was revealed the inappropriate relationship between the pair started after they had a conversation during a bomb hoax at the school on March 10, 2016.

The court heard Ms Guazzo, 29, asked him: “Have you ever thought of having sex with a teacher?”

A string of flirty messages allegedly followed, including one in which she said to the student: “Do ya wanna do something fun?”

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“She told [the student] how she and her husband hadn’t slept together in a while — she said he wasn’t giving it to her,” [prosecutor Dominique] Orr said. …

The court heard Ms Guazzo drove the teenager, who was 12 years her junior, to Halifax and Fox Creek Falls on two other occasions for sex and told him not to tell anyone, as it could get her sacked.

“This was all about sex for the defendant — sex that the defendant wanted and [the student] was more than willing to give,” Ms Orr said. …

Defence lawyer Stephen Zillman urged the jury to consider evidence provided by the student under questioning.

“You were asked: ‘So the truth is you didn’t feel you were taken advantage of?’ To which you answered: ‘Not at all, not at all’,” Mr Zillman said.

In closing, Mr Zillman said the student was aware of his actions and had treated the defendant like a piece of meat.

“You might have got the impression that he was not virginal — quite an experienced practitioner in the art of love-making.” …

It took the jury just 15 minutes to reach their not guilty verdict.

Welp. I don’t know what else to say. When you’re right, you’re right. Australia might have once just been the place the Brits sent my ancestors when they got drunk and disorderly. And if the movies have taught me anything, it’s that someday soon it’ll be a dystopian, mobilized desert hellscape run by warlords with mohawks and face paint where the only currencies are petroleum and water. But in our day and age, it’s nirvana for female teachers in sexless marriage who want to get carnally satisfied by high school kids without fear of going to prison. I read one report that Sarah Joy Guazzo lost her job and was working in the fashion industry or something. They might want to reinstate her. Or make her Minister of Education. In Australia: The Land of SST Freedom.

The Grades:
Looks: OK, well as Aussie’s go, she’s no Margot Robbie, Isla Fisher or Kylie Minogue. But how many of our SSTs are? She’s got the bangs of a Polygamy Cult wife, but cleaned up OK for court. I kind of feel like if you were at a party that was all couples in their late 20s and 30s, she’d be exactly in the middle among all the wives and girlfriends on the attractiveness scale. So that’s a
Grade: C

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: There’s just so much here. So, so much. Starting with the fact she used a moment like a bomb scare to spark a romance. That’s the audacity of hope in it’s purest form. But we’ve got so much more. The way she almost immediately escalated the inappropriate text. The creek sex. Various locations sex. Booze (of course; it’s Australia). But nobody stepped up to the plate like Mrs. Guazzo’s lawyer. Who not only successfully painted her sidepiece as not a victim, but got in a plug for his prowess in the bedroom. That’s not only going to do amazing things for the kid when classes start up, it’s now a permanent part of the public record in the Australian court system. I hope he charged enough billable hours for that.
Grade: A

Intangibles: It’s a gorgeous Friday in early summer and I don’t want to work too hard. So I’m grabbing the obvious, low hanging Kiwi fruit that is: “Sarah Joy. Down Under.”
Grade: A

Overall: B+. And to the SSToolie emailer: Thanks, Mate.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.