Does This Look Like the Face of Guy Who Shot Himself in the Dick and Still Keeps Getting Arrested?

SourceEven after accidentally shooting yourself in the penis with an unregistered gun, things can still get worse, records show.

In the four months since Mark Anthony Jones shot himself in the genitals, the 47-year-old Indiana man has been arrested four separate times and is now behind bars awaiting trial on narcotics, weapons, and domestic battery counts.

In late-February, Jones suffered an “accidental self-inflicted gunshot injury” while walking on a street in Marion, a city in Grant County. Jones told police that he was carrying an unholstered Hi-Point 9mm handgun in his waistband when the weapon “began to slip.” When he “reached down to adjust” the firearm, Jones told police, the weapon discharged.

“The bullet entered just above his penis and exited his scrotum,” according to a police report. …

Since shooting himself, Jones has also been arrested twice for driving with a suspended license, domestic battery, possession of methamphetamine and drug paraphernalia, and methamphetamine dealing.

Everyone of us who passes through this vale of tears has some moment where they hit their low point. The nadir of their life.  The thing is, you don’t necessarily know when you’ve hit that point when you’ve reached bottom and things can only get better.

Consider my man Mark Anthony Jones. I’m just guessing that for oh, say, 4 out of 5 guys, shooting yourself through the dick and balls with an unlicensed gun would be their official Rock Bottom. And from there they’d vow they’ll never go lower. That they’ll have what Jules Winnfield says alcoholics call “a moment of clarity,” work to change for the better and improve their lives. Not Mark. He hit the Rock Bottom of being able to look at his shoes through a hole in his scrotum and kept digging. He drilled into that bedrock like a oil well engineer and didn’t stop until he hit the magma of domestic violence and meth dealing.

Optimists say God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. And in Jones He chose the right guy to put a bullet through his dong. Where others would’ve quit being a loser and straightened out their lives, he just kept working at being a piece of shit. And, I think we can all agree, has damned near perfected it. As a matter of fact, if I were a betting man, I’d wager this won’t be the last time he’ll shoot himself in the junk. That he’ll keep up the cycle of crime and surviving dick shots until he can play his own wang like a clarinet. It’s just Indiana Lowlife doing Indiana Lowlife things. Don’t ever change, you beautiful man.