Sad News: 15 Arrested In Chinese Adult Breastfeeding Ring Bust

breast-milk

ViceThe South China Morning Post reported Monday that 15 people were arrested when the police broke up a prostitution ring in Beijing that gave adults the opportunity to drink human breast milk, which is regarded by some as having healing properties. Lin Jun, owner of a domestic services Xinxinyu, a TaskRabbit-like company that also provides the service, told the International Business Times that clients “can drink it directly through breastfeeding, or they can always drink it from a breast pump if they feel embarrassed.”

So if you spend enough time on the internet and more specifically, if you spend enough time reading stories about things that happen in Asia, you learn to not really be shocked by anything anymore. Asians are bizarro human beings and there’s no way around it. But real talk, this seems like a pretty fucked up group of individuals even by Asian standards. Now I realize I’m kinda sorta stepping into Hank territory here and frankly, he may even be the ring leader, but if you’re old enough to get arrested, you are at least a hundred times too old to be guzzling down some breast milk. Is drinking some breast milk right through the titty a little better than drinking it out of a bottle? I mean I guess so since there are titties involved and not just gross milk. And that’s the thing. Even regular milk pretty much sucks. It’s a modern day mystery how regular milk has survived this long since the invention of chocolate milk. Unless you’re eating cereal or have some Oreo’s to dunk, regular milk serves no purpose. Throw some chocolate syrup in a glass of breast milk and maybe I’ll give it a whirl, but until then get that shit out of my face.

Update: Yes, this video is very important to this post. Thanks a bunch to u/EZBreezey for pointing out how bad I am at my job.