I Just Found Out Pres Thinks I'm Really Jewish

i don’t really understand that cartoon but it was one of the first results on Google image for “fake Jew”

So I caught wind the other day that Pres was ranting that I’m lying about being Catholic. That I’m actually just embarrassed of my Jewish heritage. Apparently he thinks I was raised Jewish and started lying about it when I got to Barstool because I have a self-confidence issue. Honestly, that could be the most ridiculous theory in history. How bad does being Jewish suck if you think someone would lie about it for this long? For three years I’ve been hiding my faith for…. apparently no reason at all. Just for kicks. I’m like the Anne Frank of blogging just hacking away at my typewriter hoping no one thinks to check the attic door. I mean the comment section can be bad occasionally but they’re not exactly the Third Reich. I’d love be inside Pres head one day when I’ve asked for a day or two off around normal people holidays. Has to kill him. “Yea sure thing FeitelBERG another day off for Easter. Wonder how long this Jew is gonna keep this charade up.”

I heard about this on Friday night and it’s literally the only thing I’ve thought about since then. For three YEARS Pres has thought that I’ve been lying about religion and has never said a word to me. Just silently judging me because I’m chose to put a jacket over my gold star rather than be a martyr. It’s something right out of the script from Curb.