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Paula Deen Offered Six Figure Porn Deal

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Show me your O face, Paula!

Huff Po – Following her admission that she made racist remarks, companies have beendumping Paula Deen left and right, but there’s at least one that’s eager to offer Deen a new gig. TMZ reports that a porn company that features older women called PureMature.com sent a letter to Deen offering her a six-figure deal to endorse the site. “Full figured or thin, arthritic or diabetic — you embody our perfect spokesperson,” the company wrote to Deen, adding that she’s a “MILF,” and they are willing to offer her “6 figures for very little work,” since there is no nudity required. Despite the fact that Deen has now been dropped by The Food Network, Walmart, Target, JC Penney, her book publisher Random House and other companies, it seems unlikely that Deen would sign on, even as she loses millions.

This is why the America is an amazing place. As long as you achieve a certainly level of fame, you will always have the safety net of a 6 figure porn deal. Nowadays you can count on that like the rising and setting of the sun. Doesn’t matter if you literally killed someone. Doesn’t matter if you sit around dreaming of owning a plantation in pre-Civil War America with a sea of black people waiting on you hand and foot. Someone out there will pay you to get fucked on camera. Its always a publicity stunt offer, but its a real offer nonetheless.

Lets hope a few more companies drop their endorsements of this fatso slave driver so she gets desperate enough to fuck for PureMature.com. The whole Southern/slavery porno plot practically writes itself. “Mason Dicks-In Paula Deen.” “The Underground Railroad: Paula Deen Gets A Train Run On Her Diabetic Ass.” Melting sticks of butter on some big black Mandingos for lube. Getting kinky with some whips and chains. I’m not into the whole mature fetish scene but I’d watch that shit. Its just like the Teen Mom porno except she’s 50 years older, 200 pounds heavier, and a lot more racist.

PS – “Full figured or thin, arthritic or diabetic” is either the best or worst porno pitch I’ve ever heard in my life.