Carlos Zambrano Is Here To Save Your Baseball Team

96. Sweet Jesus.

This is a very serious question. How much longer until Carlos Zambrano is back dominating Major League Baseball? Notice that’s a two parter. I’m not interested in when he’s back to dominating (he never stopped) or when he’s back in MLB. I see both of those things as slam dunks. The real question is how much longer until this:

96 with his run and sink gets you a major league contract 100 out of 100 times. At this point there’s really no argument against him joining your roster and if you listen to Red Line Radio you know exactly why. Carlos is a changed man under the direct guidance of God. His words,. not mine. And after spending a morning with him I can agree he definitely seems like changed man outside of him still being absolutely humongous. He’s every bit of 6’5, 280 which brings me back to the original question.

Theo couldn’t release him fast enough so I’m ruling out the Cubs entirely but the White Sox actually are a perfect landing spot for Z and unfortunately I’m not joking. He’s a draw He’s got nasty stuff. He’s fluent in Spanish. His teammates love him. He’s affordable and hungry and would probably love to play for a club with a chip on its shoulder while showing Theo he was wrong. (He wasn’t.)

Personally as a major Z enthusiast, I’m delighted to see him play anywhere much less Major League Baseball much less in Chicago. The reality is he kept the Cubs interesting for some of the worst seasons in Cubs’ fan history. The 2004-2006 run after the Marlins collapse is responsible for 7-10 less years on my life. Those were miserable teams with hopeless chances and yet everyday Z showed up trying to kill you while putting on a show for fans. He really was bigger than life if only for a brief moment and completely out of his mind. That changes nothing. I will always love this man and you guys are coming with me.