Lenny Dykstra Finding His $80,000 Dentures After Searching In A Jersey Mike's Dumpster For 9 Hours Is The Feel Good Story Of The Summer

USA Today – Former MLB player Lenny Dykstra has a long history of odd behavior and run-ins with the law, but even by his standards, what happened to him this weekend may have been his weirdest story yet.

The former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder chronicled his exploits on Twitter searching through a dumpster for a set of specially made dentures he mistakenly left in a napkin at a Jersey Mike’s sub shop near his Linden, New Jersey, home.

After finishing his sub and leaving the restaurant, he went back to find the staff had thrown the napkins and Dykstra’s dentures – which he told NJ.com were valued at $80,000 – in the trash. 


There are a lot of stories out there in the world today that really just make you question humanity. Plenty of things happen every single day that make the world look like it’s going to complete shit. Now that’s not to say that there aren’t good things that still happen every once in a while, but rarely are they ever discussed in the news. There’s an old saying in the journalism biz that says, “they don’t cover plane landings”. So any time an inspirational story comes around that will allow people to restore their faith in humanity, well it’s a truly special moment. And we had one of those moments over the weekend when Lenny Dykstra went searching through a dumpster to find his $80,000 pair of dentures he accidentally threw out at a Jersey Mike’s with the help of his lifelong pal Sprinkles The Clown.

This actually happens way more frequently than you’d imagine. I mean let he who has never once accidentally thrown out their dentures at a Jersey Mike’s cast the first stone. But typically when these sort of things happen, there’s not a happy ending. Those dentures are gone and never to be heard from again. But do you think that Lenny Dykstra was going to give up that easily? Do you really think that Nails wasn’t going to persevere and find those fucking dentures? This is Lenny Dykstra we’re talking about here, folks. The man has the heart of a champion. Everybody wants to find their dentures that they accidentally threw out at Jersey Mike’s but ain’t nobody ever want to put in the work to actually find them. Nails is truly built different. So it didn’t matter if it was going to take him 9 minutes or 9 hours swimming around that dumpster to find those dentures, he wasn’t going to stop until the job was done.

Nails Never Fails.


This is just a beautiful story about perseverance and battling through adversity. It’s one that I think all the kids at home can really learn a lesson from.  Sometimes things in life don’t go your way. Sometimes you accidentally throw your $80,000 dentures out at a Jersey Mike’s. But it’s all about how you respond. Are you the type of guy who is just going to walk away? Or do you have what it takes to dive right into that dumpster and find your fucking dentures? The answer to that question says a lot about your character as a man.

P.S. – Have to imagine that Nails’ time with the Phillies really prepared him for dumpster diving since that’s just considered taking a swim in a pool here in Philly.