How About This Asshole Couple With The Giant Size Hamster?

MSN – Boring old dogs or cats won’t cut it for this Texas couple. Melanie Typaldos and her husband, Richard Loveman, of Buda, Texas, share their home with a gigantic 112-pound rodent: Gary the capybara. The couple got Gary from a breeder in Arkansas after falling in love with his kind (the biggest rodent in the world!) during a trip to Venezuela. Capybaras spend a lot of time in the water, so the duo had to build an above-ground pool for Gary, as well as introduce him to their other pets (they also have a horse, a dog, a cat, rabbits and tortoises).

You wanna know the most absurd part of this story? Not that this couple owns a 112 pound rat as a family pet. Not that the 112 pound rat gets along with the dogs and cats and rabbits that they also own. The weirdest part of this story is that they named their 112 pound capybara “Gary.” What the fuck is that about? Gary? Just hooking him up with a lame human name like that? He’s the biggest Venezuelan rodent on the planet earth he deserves a name more powerful than fucking Gary. You gotta call him Hercules or some shit like that. At the very least you gotta call him Splinter. Its only fitting. But not Gary.

Gary sucks.