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Zack Greinke Says He Doesn't Care If He Ever Throws A No-Hitter Because "It'd Be More Of A Hassle Than Anything"

What a fucking quote from Zack Greinke! I couldn’t even fathom wielding the filthy stuff Greinke has that allowed him to hold the Nats hitless for 6 innings last night let alone not giving a shit that he lost a chance at putting himself in the history books. Then again, I am just an idiot fan that won’t leave his seat if a Mets pitcher has a no-hitter going after the 3rd inning, shrieked like a little girl when Johan finally delivered the first no-hitter in franchise history, and still talks to this day about pitching a no-no against my buddy Viv in MVP Baseball 2001 back in the day (It would have been a perfect game if I didn’t hit Chuck Knoblauch with the first pitch of every game to send a message).

But Greinke’s reasoning may be the most relatable thing in the world. Who gives a shit about baseball immortality anyway? All that immortality is going to get you is an extra sentence or so in your Wikipedia page as well as a bunch of interview requirements, requests from weirdo autograph seekers that you sign a baseball with the no hitter date, and old coots from Cooperstown to ask for the jock strap you wore during the game. Who has time for that shit when you can just throw a gem with a few scattered hits then leave the ballpark with a win and the rest of your night unbothered?

The three mottos I live by are try to kill as many birds with one stone, underpromise then overdeliver, and do whatever you can to make your life easier. Those rules can be applied to fat dumb smut bloggers like me or athletes at the pinnacle of their sport like Zack Greinke. I’m happy to see Zack follows at least one of them.