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Congressman Says Abortion Should Be Illegal Because Babies Are Masturbating In The Womb

US NewsRep. Michael Burgess, R-Texas, said Monday he is opposed to abortion because fetuses masturbate in the womb, and so can feel both pleasure and pain. “Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, citing his experience as an OB/GYN, during a House Rules Committee hearing on a GOP bill that would ban abortions after 20 weeks. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?” Any media reports on masturbation by fetuses can almost exclusively be traced back to a single letterwritten by two OB/GYNs in Italy in 1996 and published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. The letter related an anecdote in which the two doctors had “recently observed a female fetus at 32 weeks gestation touching the vulva with the fingers of the right hand” before the female fetus experienced prolonged spasms, and “finally…relaxed and rested.”

Well what the fuck else are you gonna do in there? You’re just sitting in there for like 6 months once you’re big enough to know whats going on. I’d probably jerk off like 20 times a day if I was a fetus in the womb. And the last thing you want as a 15 week old baby is to be straight up aborted mid-stroke. I mean everything is pretty much perfect – you’re staring right at some pussy. You don’t need to worry about clean up since you’re all wrapped up in some placenta. I’d imagine its the same thing as J’ing off in the shower – just bust a nut and all the evidence disappears. And you have absolutely nothing better to do. Might as well start cracking your 4 month old dick. And then BOOM. You get fucking aborted. Talk about a kick in the dick. “Aaaahhh, I’m masturbating! Take a good picture, mommy! I’M DEAD!!!