Study Shows Growing Number Of Boys Are Injuring Their Dicks From Falling Toilet Seats During Potty Training

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Watch your dick bro!

(Reuters Health)Ouch: Boys know that toilet seats are an occupational hazard of potty training, but a new study suggests the number of genital injuries caused by falling toilet toppers is growing. Researchers found the number of emergency room visits for toilet-related injuries to the penis, while still rare, increased by about 100 visits each year between 2002 and 2010. Usually, the injuries happen when boys are learning how to urinate into the toilet while standing up and the seat falls unexpectedly – although a few adults did get snagged by the seat, too. “It’s a toddler basically potty training who doesn’t have the most advanced motor skills and they just don’t have the reflexes to move fast enough,” said Dr. Benjamin Breyer, the study’s lead author from the University of California, San Francisco. Previously, the researchers found that about 16,000 men and women are sent to U.S. emergency rooms (ERs) with genital injuries every year. Breyer’s team was “pretty surprised” to learn that one in 30 genitourinary injuries showing up to the ER involved toilets. “To us, that was striking. That was unexpected. You think of the bathroom as a safe place,” he said.. Using a national database of injuries caused by household products that were treated by U.S. ERs between 2002 and 2010, the researchers found 13,175 genital injuries related to the toilet or toilet seat. About 68 percent were so-called crush injuries, which is when the penis gets trapped between the seat and the bowl. Of those, about 97 percent were in children seven years old and younger. Only five adults were caught by falling lids.

First thing’s first, lets address the 5 adults who are getting their cock slammed by the toilet seat. How is that even logistically possible? As a grown man I cannot think of one normal scenario where your dick is low enough to be guillotined by a falling toilet seat. Unless you’re basically on your knees facing the toilet the height of the toilet and your dick just doesn’t make any sense. Those 5 dudes were jerking off right into the bowl and got caught be a falling toilet seat. They deserve everything they get.

Now on to these poor 7 year olds getting their dicks demolished by toilet seats. Jiminy fuckin Cricket thats gotta be the most traumatizing thing ever. Getting your schmeckle smushed by a heavy ass toilet seat is enough to make me give up on potty training all together. Like if that happened to me when I was 7 I would still be in diapers today. I would shit and piss in adult diapers all day long before I ever went near another toilet. Its like if you almost drown when you’re young so you grow up with a strong fear of water. Yea, I don’t go near toilets – one almost chopped my dick off when I was 7. If I was these kids’ father I’d stop making them train too. For God’s sake the toilet almost chopped their dick clean off their body. Teach the kid to poop in urinals and don’t force him into therapy for the next 20 years because he had the toilet bowl shoved down his throat growing up.

PS – Hey ladies I don’t ever wanna hear you complain about toilet seat drama ever again. A) Its ridiculous that you idiots just blindly sit down without checking if the seat is down. If you fall into a fucking bowl of water ass first that is your fault and your fault only. B) Has a toilet seat ever almost chopped off your pussy? No? Then shut the fuck up about the toilet seat.