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Mad Respect to the Mormon Millionaire Who Held His Own 'The Bachelor' with 20 Women Competing for Him

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SourceTwenty women went on a group date with an anonymous Mormon millionaire last week, with participants signing non-disclosure agreements to prevent them from revealing his identity.

The women, selected from a pool of 2,500 applicants, went on a four-course dinner social with the bachelor last Friday.

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, the evening also included a PowerPoint presentation detailing the top 10 reasons he had enlisted the matchmaking agency, a group conversation and a five-minute ‘mini-date’ with each woman. …

The competition was advertised last month by several huge billboards lining the Interstate 15 in Salt Lake City – offering up the chance to win a date with the wealthy member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

‘LDS Millionaire looking for his wife,’ they read. ‘Exclusive VIP Event June 7.’

The application, according to ELLE Magazine, included a drop down menu for candidates to select their ‘body type’ from ‘slender, athletic, average, a few extra pounds, large, and petite.’ …

While the man stands concealed behind an opaque sheet … so as not to reveal the bachelor’s identity [but] the agency previously offered a few clues.

Erin Schurtz, an LDS matchmaker, told The Salt Lake Tribune that the man is between 30 and 45 years old, a millionaire, over 6 feet tall, and “handsome.”

As F. Scott Fitzgerald famously put it, “Let me tell you something about the very rich. They are different from you and me.” To which Hemingway, ever the frenemy, allegedly shot back, “Yes. They have more money.”

I’ve heard it said that the best thing about being rich isn’t so much that you can afford to buy stuff you never could before, but rather that things can go wrong without bankrupting you. Like when you’re living check to check, needing a new transmission or major work done on your house will put you in a hole the wealthy don’t have to worry about. Which makes perfect sense. But this anonymous Mormon perfectly demonstrates the less talked about, but way more satisfying aspect of being rich.

Power.

This is how you use your wealth. By getting otherwise bright, accomplished adults to throw their dignity away and grovel for the chance to marry you. What’s the point of having all that money if you can’t manipulate your fellow human beings into humiliating themselves for your pleasure?

You’ve got to hand it to these Latter Day Saints guys. The leave all the simple earthly pleasures like caffeine, alcohol and tobacco to Catholics like me. And while we’re chasing that low-hanging fruit, they’re aiming high and going right to the real sins of the flesh. I mean, my Jesus tells us every Sunday we’re not supposed to be rich. But his Jesus wrote onto those golden plates the angel Moroni buried in Joseph Smith’s backyard to go right ahead. Make a killing in business and then use that money to assemble an army of sexbots who’ll willingly discuss their body types with a stranger on line for at 1-in-2,500 chance of signing his pre-nup.

That is my kind of religion. And my kind of rich guy.

The one thing I’m having a hard time grasping is the sheer number of applicants. I remember back in the day reading about Steve Young, when he was at the height of his powers, and the trouble he was having finding a Mormon wife. Because they tend to marry young and not get divorced. And yet here’s this cat, standing behind a shower curtain listening to the elite of that 2,500 competing for his affections, sight unseen. And to me, it’s the perfect way to abuse the power all that wealth has given him. And the best part? He’s LDS. So he doesn’t even need to narrow it down to one wife if he doesn’t want to. What a faith. What a man. What a way to put your outrageous fortune to good use. I salute you, anonymous rich Mormon guy. And wish you godspeed on your romantic journey.