81-Year-Old Man Who Spent 30 Years Behind Bars Robs A Bank Because He Wanted To Return To Prison

An 81-year-old man who spent decades behind bars for a series of bank robberies said he stole from an Arizona credit union months after being released from prison because his monthly $800 Social Security payments were too small to live on, according to court records.

Robert Francis Krebs walked into the Pyramid Federal Credit Union in Tucson in January 2018 without a disguise and allegedly put a BB gun — that looked like a handgun — on the counter and demanded cash. He told FBI agents he “kind of wanted to get caught” so he could return to prison.

Is this Shawshank Redemption in real life?? Just like Brooks (rest in peace), this man was institutionalized. He was used to a certain way of living. Three hots and a cot. And after 30+ years behind bars, he got out and couldn’t function. Well….sort of. He told the FBI he just didn’t have enough money to function. And I saw the internet is being all sad and righteous about how this just isn’t fair to the old man. And to that, snowflakes of the internet, I have a couple responses.

1.) Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Hey Brooks, there’s a reason that your social security check is only $800. It’s because you spent 30 years of your working life in prison. If you wanted a bigger social security payment each month, maybe you shouldn’t have spent your prime behind bars. It’s part of the risk / reward for the bullshit you decided to pull back in in 1981 when you robbed a bank in Florida. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

2.) He doesn’t have to just live on social security. Spare me with the “He’s 81! He can’t work!” talk. The rule of thumb is that if you’re young enough to walk into an Arizona credit union with a BB gun and demand cash, then you’re young enough to be a greeter at Walmart. Don’t like your $800 a month free handout from the government? Supplement it with a job! If you haven’t picked up on it yet, I have zero sympathy for this guy whatsoever.

3.) Save me the bullshit excuses. Who’s to say this guy really committed a crime just to go back to jail? I deal with professional excuse makers (12 year olds and their parents) every single day. This smells fishy. He tries to rob a bank…..gets caught….then admits that he wanted to go back to prison. Riiiiiiiight. I’m going to use that the next time I get sent to prison. I wanted to go anyways!

This guy sucks. He embezzled money in 1966. He robbed a bank in 1981. And he just tried to rob a credit union again. The fact that he can’t live off social security is not unfair. In fact it’s the opposite. It is fair. Enjoy prison you old geezer. It’s where you want to be, right?