KFC Editor’s Note - This is our maiden voyage of having a commenter do Comments of the Week. First time ever a commenter has had the power to post on Barstool Sports. ImTough from the comments section stepped up and accepted the challenge of sifting through all your shit to put this together. And I think he did a great job with it. Its very long, but in his words “I know it’s long, but hey, this is my one chance so I had to make the most of it and I had to do 10 comments because I just couldn’t leave some of these off the list.” I can respect that. I’m gonna start off with ImTough’s intro and then you can see his comments and break downs after the jump. I have already reached out to my most trusted commenters to take the torch – Numero_two, Animalman and cantgetthestinkout. But I think all three of them are going to EDC in Vegas next week so they cannot do it for next Friday. So I’m going to leave the next commenter selection up to you guys again – you picked ImTough and I think it worked out great, so I’ll trust you again. Make nominations and whoever gets upvoted the most wins. Without further ado…ImTough’s Comments of the Week:
I’d like to start by thanking KFC for finally relenting to my demands for a shot at top comments and to all 166 of the commenters who voted for me to kick things off…Now, while my vision for uniting the clans of barstool and including comments from all cities has yet to be realized, I can only imagine that this is the first step towards a better, more complete top comments blog, one that highlights the depravity and charming wit of the commenters… With that being said, I am ready to concede that doing this right is no easy task… attempting to compile this list was annoyingly time-consuming, brain-numbing, carpal-tunnel-inducing, and basically drained me of the strength required to remain a highly productive member of society…
It is an imperfect science… some great comments will be missed, some may be lost in translation, and some will be intentionally ignored (but only if you’re a dizzy cunt and / or have insulted me in some way)… you can’t please everybody, but luckily for me, I don’t care about pleasing anyone…
Before we get to the top comments, I would like to hand out three very special awards… the first is the “imtough rising star award” which goes to @gunghobuttguy… he may or may not be a new commenter but I don’t recall noticing his comments before and I found myself routinely admiring his work this week… (KFC Editors note – Specifically, gunghobuttguy’s comment of “Dang, harrison just stole my car again.” on the
Yearbook Showdown stole the show)
The second award is the “imtough dizzy cunt award” which this week goes to @lenbiasdandruff… I’m sure he’ll be tugging at his needle dick all weekend because he obviously obsesses over me and desires to be noticed by me… anyway, for some reason I found you incredibly annoying (even more so than cunts like @clamchowdah and @godhatesislandersfans2)… there is no lower life form of commenter than the one that stalks and constantly critiques other commenters and @lenbiasdandruff is the epitome of this… please go away…
and the third is the “imtough insult of the week award” which goes to @fetalburgh for his comment – “imtough still uses myspace” in response to me claiming not to know what vine is… see, there is a way to insult me without being annoying and a stalker, take notes all you imtough haters…
Overall, it was a very solid week at the Stool by bloggers and commenters alike… On a personal note, the week got off to a troubling start when my account was seemingly hacked and I had to fight to defend my identity and save the imtough brand that I’ve worked so hard to establish… but I digress… there were many funny comments to choose from and I unfortunately had to leave some hysterical comments off this list which is already way too long as it is…
I was instructed to keep this to NY only but couldn’t let this comment from Boston go unrecognized…
by BillyBaroo on June 11, 2013 at 10:43 am
Sounds like Mickey Mouse getting his asshole fingered.
OK, now let’s get to what you’ve all been waiting for… your top 10 NY comments of the week, in order of hilarity…
by animalman on June 10, 2013 at 12:53 pm
Perfectly sums up the ineptitude of most NY sports franchises… easily the most overrated sports city in the country…
by mississippi on June 11, 2013 at 1:33 pm
They should sell watermelon, ribs, and grape soda out of that truck while they’re at it.
Home run for all of the closet barstool racists out there… bonus points because it’s coming from a commenter named “mississippi”, a state which is obviously stuck in the 1930’s and is an (in)breeding ground for the KKK…
by wilburham on June 12, 2013 at 10:55 am
your buddy was you right? and he slipped it in before the police got involved
underrated comment because half the commenters (myself included) don’t always read the entire blog or any of the blog for that matter… comments like this show true commitment, work ethic and the ability to digest what has been blogged and respond accordingly… plus, it’s always fun when the commenters insult the bloggers…
by gunghobuttguy on June 11, 2013 at 10:55 am
If you start playing R. Kelly in a enclosed space with no exit, you better believe someone’s getting pissed on.
Great comment which combines R. Kelly’s love for peeing on under aged girls and the world’s hate for R. Kelly’s music…
by yeahiwasintheshit on June 11, 2013 at 2:53 pm
It’s called a wife.
Short, sweet, and true… what else could you ask for?
by jimmy franchise on June 13, 2013 at 3:33 pm
How jealous is Rex Ryan of this dog
Answer – very jealous…
by shartsandcrafts on June 12, 2013 at 12:12 pm
how can you diss the face and not show it?
by shartsandcrafts on June 12, 2013 at 12:15 pm
googled her, i redact my previous statement. thank you KFC.
shartsandcrafts pulling off the elusive top two comments by following up his first comment with the disappointing results of a boner-crushing Google search…
by imexhaustedg on June 11, 2013 at 2:14 pm
her shit must come out like silly string
No explanation needed, plus I’d rather not linger on the visual…
by 781kid on June 13, 2013 at 8:59 am
He’s gonna be pissed when Joe Johnson picks up his son and shoots him for 3 by mistake
I lost it when I came across this gem after reading through all of the previous comments about Kidd’s son having a huge head, which I was unaware of… at first, for some reason, I thought it was a vague reference to former Net Jayson Williams “shooting” his limo driver… but then I realized that made no sense and he meant shooting a three pointer with Kidd’s son’s head… because it’s apparently huge and probably shaped like a basketball…
And the comment of the week goes to…
by wazzymcwazzle on June 12, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Shit all over the place, exit out the window, skip town, and start a new life…
Yup, these are our commenters…
Well, there it is fellas, the first ever top comments blog as submitted by one of our own… now, as with the Olympic running of the flame, allow me to play the role of the sweaty, emaciated hut-dweller from Cameroon and pass the torch on to the next commenter, whoever he may be… Please don’t allow the flame to be snuffed out, like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in… and yes, this is the only acceptable example of when quoting Elton John does NOT = does anal…
