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Okay, How Often Are We Supposed To Be Changing Our Sheets?

Last night, I posted a lil tweet about how every Sunday, I’m filled with dread over the prospect of changing my sheets.

It took me until 10:30pm but eventually, I did it. I went to sleep with fresh sheets, shaved legs, a lit candle, and a sense of peace and security that I am a hygienic person.

I woke up in the morning as I always do, immediately grabbing my phone to see what I missed on Twitter in the 8 hours I was sleeping (I have a problem, but we’re not going to address that right now). Well, apparently SOME people seem to have an issue with the fact that I said I change my sheets every Sunday.

Let me be clear: it’s definitely not every single Sunday. I do my best. Sometimes I’m too tired/lazy to do it and I’ll wait, especially if no one but me slept in my bed that week. But two weeks is the absolute maximum.

Posted a poll just to see who was on the same page as I was (and to out the nasties) and–

The fact that the MAJORITY of people are changing their sheets once a month? ONCE A MONTH? You guys. Do you know how gross that is? Especially if you factor in the dead skin you’re shedding, the dead skin of anyone who was in your bed with you, the dirt grime sweat etc from walking around daily life (especially if you’re someone who showers in the morning), possibly nasty ass subway germs if you ever nap in your normal clothes, maybe you’ve got a dog who sleeps with you and god knows where he’s been… the list goes on and on. You really want that in your bed? DO YOU? Also, you definitely need to at least change your pillowcases once a week to prevent acne and shit. Ya nasties.

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Honestly every day I learn that something I do that I assume is basic cleanliness is weird. Like yeah.. I wash my legs and my feet. Way too many of you don’t. And I mean if you compound the two things, you’re letting your nasty ass unwashed feet and legs into your bed. Gross.

THIS is why I don’t do away games. I don’t fucking trust you cretins. If we’re going to kiss n stuff you are coming to my nice, clean bed and that’s that on that.