Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Tennessee – A 42-year-old teacher has been jailed for three years after pleading guilty to having sex with seven of her students.
Cindy Clifton had faced more charges than any other teacher involved in sex crimes against under age victims.
The married mother of two was charged with a total of 53 counts … for allegedly victimizing a total of 11 boys.
But after striking a deal with prosecutors she pleaded guilty at a court in Covington, Tennessee, to a total of 15 counts, including aggravated statutory rape by authority figure.
The court heard Clifton had sex with seven of her students between April and July in 2011. Her victims were aged between 14 and 17.
Investigators said the popular Middle School teacher plied the teens with alcohol and then had sex with them in her home.
Many of the students are thought to have been friends of her teenage daughter, who attended the alcohol fueled parties.
Lord help me, but I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for the … oh, let’s call them the plus-sized people. Those folks with the uncertain muscle definition. The ones who may or may not have a six pack in there, but if they have one it’s in a soft cooler. I’m talking about those celebrities for whom glamor doesn’t come easy and they have to rely on pure talent. John Candy. Chris Farley. Zach Galifinakis. Melissa McCarthy. John Popper from Blues Traveler. Rebel Wilson. Retta. Like if I was hired at Dunder-Mifflin, I’d probably hang out with Kevin, Stanley or Phyllis instead of the cooler guys like Jim or Ryan. I’m just sort of drawn to the story of the larger people, and find myself naturally pulling for them.
That’s especially true when it comes to competitions. Your zaftig figures just naturally get underestimated due their less … traditional … appearances. Charles Barkley. Kirby Puckett. John Daley. Big Baby Davis. Pre-Red Sox Pablo Sandoval. I’d almost forgotten about Fernando Valenzuela until he came up in a “Jeopardy!” answer this week and he was an instant national phenomenon.
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Well there are few things as competitive as Sex Scandal Teachering. Which brings us to Cindy Clifton. If you underestimated her ability to do amazing things in the SST game, you did so at your own peril because look at all she achieved. I’m sure most people didn’t think she could pull off sex with one student. But she worked at it, believed in herself, fought through and set records. Somewhere between 7 and 11 of her daughter’s friends? If you doubted her, the joke is definitely on you. And her. And her family. Especially her daughter.
The Grades:
Looks: Somewhere between “Dance Moms” megalomaniac Abby Miller and a 42-year-old, pre-insane, unforgivable racist meltdown Roseanne, from her stand up days. Also, I’m sure a very nice personality.
Grade: D
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: What else can you say about a teacher who throws booze parties for her underage daughter so she can get her male high school friends drunk and go full Stifler’s Mom on them to the tune of 53 criminal charges? Other than she’s a lunatic who belongs in a penitentiary? You can say that she’s done all she could to earn a SST:
Grade: A
Intangibles: You have to admire the adjective “popular” thrown in there to add color to the story. Imagine how popular she’d be if she was handing out those drinks and bang seshes and actually had Stifler’s Mom’s natural talents?
Grade: B
Overall: B-
Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.