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Apparently Twitter Is Filled With A Ton Of NBA Level Talent

Now I have no clue where this started, but I saw this tweet/exercise all over my timeline this weekend. Whenever stuff like this goes “viral” of course there are people who just give themselves A+’s in every category as a joke, but there are also people that are legit serious in their responses whether they are pro athletes or just some random on Twitter. Who knew that there were all these NBA caliber players just chillin on the internet instead of ya know, actually in the league. Here’s a quick example

I mean it’s just a fact that when you think of your own personal skill level everything is always embellished. When you sit and reminisce about the good old days when you started on varsity as a freshman you’re probably replaying the same plays over and over again in your brain in an effort to think that decades later you still have it. Sadly, you don’t. If you’re a professional athlete and you answered this question I can give you the benefit of the doubt on your grades, but the regular schmucks like you and me? Clearly a lot of people who participated in this exercise missed the whole “be honest” part.

If I were to do this exercise it clearly has to be done with two different eras in mind. The one where I still had lung capacity and stamina and then now. Unfortunately I wasn’t a participant in the blogger basketball game a few years ago so you’ll just have to take my word for it but here is how I would grade out

Pre-college Greenie

Grade yourself in ball (be honest)

Height: 5’10
Mid Range: C+ (unless I am able to do my patented right to left crossover from the FT line, then we bump it to a B-)
3PT Shot: C+ from college, D+ from pro
Passing: B (short white Jewish kid you bet your ass I learned how to pass early)
Handles: C+ (not my fault because on my high school team nobody was allowed to dribble if your name wasn’t Tom Manguson)
Defense: B+ (could guard all 5 positions look it up)
Free Throw: B (this was the one thing Papa Greenie cared most about growing up and I think it’s because he knew his son had a limited ceiling)
Dunk: lol
Layup: B- (everyone will probably give this a high grade and lie that they are just as good with their offhand)
Archetype: Motivator (true story Channel 2 once called me Dan “The Motivator” Greenberg during some highlight)
Offensive IQ: B
Defensive IQ: C+

Post-college Greenie

Grade yourself in ball (be honest)

Height: 6’1 (nbd just had a late growth spurt)
Mid Range: C (I watch a lot of Jayson Tatum and I feel like that negatively impacts me)
3PT Shot: C from college, D- from pro (no chance I have the leg strength/stamina to make this consistently anymore)
Passing: B (see above only not as short)
Handles: C (For like a week I dribbled around ASU with a basketball to improve my handles in pick up games. I am doing no such thing now)
Defense: C+ (listen I’ll be legit for the first couple trips up and down the court but after that it’s a wrap)
Free Throw: B (you can’t care as much about FTs as I do and regress in this area)
Dunk: lol x2
Layup: C+ (no chance my already iffy off hand is even remotely close to being a positive these days)
Archetype: Motivator (a tiger can’t change its stripes)
Offensive IQ: B+ (guess who got himself a Playstation and I feel like 2K translates)
Defensive IQ: C+

In conclusion? I’m pretty much your average 32 year old blogger who has the foundation of a somewhat respectable basketball player with pathetic conditioning who you can put on the floor and rely on to make smart basketball decisions. Maybe hit an open three or two and never have to worry about trying to emulate Kyrie’s handles because I am self aware. Also if you need me to guard a big I’m down because people are STILL talking about the work I did as a senior when I shut down that 6’8 kid from Concord. Sure he was like 110 pounds but that’s not the point.

So now it’s your turn. Be honest, how do you grade out?