I’m kinda torn here. On the one hand I cannot fucking imagine raising a son that roots for the Yankees. I’d end up drowning him in the bathtub. I’d probably rather flush my kid down the toilet than go through the rest of my life knowing my offspring roots for the fucking Yankees. People always ask me hypotheticals like “Would you rather have a gay son or a slut daughter?” and all sorts of children dilemmas. Truth be told I don’t care if my son bangs guys, and I don’t care if my daughter sucks a thousand dicks – as long as they don’t root for the Yankees.
But on the other hand I can’t knowingly raise my kid a Mets fan, can I? I don’t know if I could do that. Bring a child into this world and immediately burden them with a lifetime of misery and disappointment? I might as well just name my kid Anal if I’m gonna make him a Mets fan. Just ruin his life as fast as humanly possible. I tell myself all the time that being a Mets fan builds character and we don’t take anything for granted and all these other loser bullshit excuses. Bottom line is it fucking sucks. Can I really willingly put that on my kid?
So whats the solution? No baseball at all? Do I just avoid sports all together for my kids? Maybe having a gay son would be best. 50 years from now my kid will hate me and resent me for never sharing any common interests in life, i.e. sports and pussy, but in reality I was just doing it to save him.