Power Ranking All The Aaron Rodgers Chug Blogs We Just Posted
The Classic 6-bagger blog on a Thursday night and quintessential Barstool. An NFL superstar cannot chug a beer in public without a pack of us fighting for the right to put a take on it and of course one of those 6 takes has to do with Tom Brady. Practically from the Barstool handbook page 3 paragraph 19. They’re big pages.
Anyways, I figured I can help you sort through the chugging a beer content because it’s so voluminous, which is a word that sounds like you’re lighting a dark room but actually just means “ample written content” scouts honor.
On to the rankings.
#6 – Nate – Matt Stafford Just Put Aaron Rodgers On A Poster!!!!: not overly relevant but not troll worthy enough to go anywhere but dead last. No offense.
#5 – Hubbs - Aaron Rodgers Was Being a Great Teammate, If You Don’t Think He Can Chug a Beer Then Go Fuck Yourself: I like Hubbs’ tone because he brings the psycho gene consistently but at the same time I’m not a huge apologist. Like Aaron Rodgers is a shitty teammate. He’s not good at chugging. Doesn’t care about his offensive tackles image. Idk how you defend this guy on any of those points.
#4 – Liz – Aaron Rodgers May Be The World’s Worst Beer Chugger And I Love It: I’d put this dead last but I don’t want to be accused of being a jerk to the only girl on the list. Even so, Liz put in a lot of effort to include other highlights and pictures and shit which is something I do regularly and can appreciate. She also checked in 3rd on the timeline and not far behind Eddie which is important because as the Big Guns say around here, Speed Matters.
#3 – Coley – Chug The Entire Beer Aaron: A good title. Simple and to the point. No mention of Tom Brady in the title though and it turns into a Tom Brady blog. Classic mistake. If you’re going to blog Brady, just stuff his name in any point in the title. Like Tom Brady Would Chug The Entire Beer, Aaron. Or Chug The Entire Beer Like Tom Brady, Aaron. Or, Aaron Can’t Chug An Entire Beer Like Tom Brady. I’m just thinking clicks. Also, Coley was 1st so credit for that but again, huge miss not putting Tom Brady in the title.
#2 – Jerry Thornton – Tom Brady Can Chug a Beer, Proving Once Again He’s Better Than Aaron Rodgers: Jerry gets it.
#1 – Eddie – Aaron Rodgers Chugs Beer Like A Nerd: Of course I’m going with my guy. That’s how this works. I die on a hill with my guys and the fact Eddie did the best by personally calling out all Packers fans in the process is the exact type of shit talking I need taking me into Memorial Day Weekend.
Final Verdict: Aaron Rodgers is a weirdo.