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A Great Reminder That Both Major Lotteries Are Over $300 Million And It's Time To Get Rich

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This was actually a great reminder from our girl Emily that both the Mega Millions AND the Power Ball are quickly getting big. I was walking down the street the other day and saw a sign in a bodega and remember thinking “damn, those are getting juicy” and then 3 seconds later saw a homeless guy jerking off and completely forgot about it. But then, as if from the lottery gods themselves, EmRat posted a Lotto Booty picture on the gram and I was like “oh yeah, I need to buy some tickets!”. Is it a sign that I’m about to win $300 million? I mean, probably, yeah. And that’s why I’m blogging it, so you guys all juice up the jackpots even more so I get even richer. Genius plan by me.

The only question is do I win the Mega Millions on Friday

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Or a little less in the Powerball on Saturday

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I’m down for either. Kinda excited to see which one I win. And when they make the movie about my life, Emily can play my girlfriend turned wife (that I eventually cheat on, it’s a whole big scandal, wait for the movie to find out what happens next). Full circle type shit.