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Walk The Line: My grandfather taught me how to gamble, but now he's dead

When I was nine years old, I walked the half-mile between my house and my grandfather’s house after school because I wanted to go fishing for a few hours before dark.

This was a Monday, the day after an NFL Sunday. My grandfather, a habitual gambler and a prolific whiskey drinker, had been using my advanced brain for his benefit for about two years. He’d call me to the house, hand me that day’s betting sheet and have me pick the winners.

On this particular Sunday, I went 0-5. I don’t remember the specific Sunday, but I know it was in the 1988 season and I know that the Dolphins lost to the Rams in overtime.

So the next day, I arrive at his house and look for the fishing equipment.

He comes outside, looks at his nine-year-old grandson and says “You ain’t gonna find it. I threw that shit in the garbage. Now get your ass outta here.”


I wasn’t allowed to come back until I won again. It was then and there that I realized that losing wasn’t any fuckin’ fun. So I don’t do it.

For tonight’s winners, we’ve got Bruins (-155) over the Blues for the Stanley Cup. The Blues are a better story but the Bruins are simply a better team.

Other picks from Walk The Line:

Red Sox-Blue Jays Over 9

Rays (+107) ML over Dodgers

Astros runline (-1.5) over White Sox

For today’s Useless Top 5, we doubled up with my Top 5 Sandwiches and Top 5 in-game dunkers.


5) French dip

4) Meatball suub

3) Philly cheesesteak

2) New Orleans shrimp po’boy

1) Reuben


5) LeBron James

4) Michael Jordan

3) Shawn Kemp

2) Dominique Wilkins

1) Vince Carter