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New Social Networking Site Only Allows Gifted Kids To Join

IndependentA social networking site, described as a “thinking teenager’s Facebook”, that aims to prepare bright pupils for top universities, has attracted more than 2,500 members. The site, called IGGY (the International Gateway for Gifted Youth), has been devised by academics at Warwick University. It challenges the nation’s brightest 13- to 18-year-olds with a series of questions and puzzles aimed at stretching their intelligence, as well as offering them the chance to network with each other. Membership is open to any pupil recommended by their teacher on the grounds of impressing them with their proven ability or potential. Dr Adam Boddison, academic director of the project, said: “The real test is whether the pupil has the potential to perform in the top five per cent of their peers. You have to be recommended by a teacher or an academic expert who says you can make it. “It includes those who are already highly performing and a second group who don’t always perform in school, and who may not be challenged sufficiently in school.” Once accepted, they can take part in a number of games and quizzes, such as following an expedition by Arctic explorer Mark Wood and predicting how his body will be affected by his travels. In another quiz, students are asked to discuss the connection between cats and maths, including the scientific theory behind how a cat flap works. The site has also just launched its own young writers’ prize and is asking its members to contribute a short story of no more than 2,500 words for a cash prize of £2,000 and the chance to see themselves in print in Litro magazine. Additionally, the site poses debate questions, such as: “Is it a problem that the average age of members of the House of Lords is 69?”

Oh boy does this Iggy network seem fucking awesome or what? Quizzes and puzzles and debate questions about the House of Lords! How fun does that sound!

Fucking dorks. You know what I use social media for? Creepin on chicks. Following porn stars. Looking at shots of dumb, vain girls who take pictures of themselves tanning and shit. Thats what social networks are for. Maybe reconnecting with some old friends here and there but for the most part its used for sexually deviant behavior. Not math equations and questions about the fucking UK Parliament. Plain and simple if you join this IGGY site you are never going to put your dick inside anything, ever, and I completely hate your guts.

And yet, at the same time, I want to be a member of this stupid nerdbook so bad. I don’t care that I would never wanna use this dork network shit but once you tell me its exclusive and that I can’t be a member I wanna join. I wanna be the best fucking IGGY use in the world. I’ll answer all the questions. Take all the quizzes. I’ll get someone to recommend the shit out of me. Fuck you, IGGY! You think I’m dumb? I’ll be the number one IGGY user in the world and I’ll creep on all the nerdy smokes and post them on to my smut website.

PS – If you are smart and you refer to yourself as “gifted” you should take a bath with your toaster.