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We Are Currently Living In The Greatest Period Of Human Existence As You'll Now Be Able To Have Food Delivered To You Whilst Stuck In Traffic


CBS – After a successful test in Mexico City, fast-food chain Burger King will begin delivering food to drivers caught in traffic in Los Angeles in what they have dubbed The Traffic Jam Whopper.

According to several reports, the direct-to-car delivery service will use motorcyclists to delivery food to those stuck in traffic jams using real-time data to pinpoint Burger King fans on the road.

Drivers are welcome to order from a Burger King app when they are within a delivery zone, roughly a 1.9-mile radius from the closest Burger King restaurant.

You know all those people who do nothing but bitch and complain about the times we live in? The people who are constantly saying shit like “ugh can 2019 just end already?”. Well all of those people are the biggest goddamn bozos on the planet because there has quite literally never been a better time to be alive.

Just think about how long traffic has been around for. Pretty sure it was invented sometime around 1345. So that’s what? 674 years. Traffic has been around for 674 years and it wasn’t until just now that somebody finally figured out how to get food delivered to sorry sacks of shit whoo are stuck in their cars during traffic jams. Granted, it appears that this is only available through Burger Kings in the Los Angeles area for right now. But that’s obviously just the beginning. By this time next year, you’ll be able to order anything you want and get it delivered right to your car as you’re in bumper-to-bumper traffic contemplating the meaning of life for a couple of hours on your way home from work.

Traffic doesn’t make a lick of sense. You’re practically sitting still for 45 minutes and then next thing you know, the road is completely open up and everybody starts cruising. Then about a mile and a half down the road, there’s another on-ramp and everybody is stuck there for another 45 minutes. And the whole time you’re sitting there in that traffic, you’re thinking about the ways that you would torture and kill whoever is responsible for starting the traffic in the first place.


But what if you were able to enjoy a nice little meal as you sit there in that traffic? It would certainly make life a lot better. Not only would be able to enjoy the meal take your mind off the fact that you are wasting hours of your life sitting in this little contraption on some giant road filled with thousands of other people who you don’t even know. But also your hunger would be satisfied so you’d be much less irritable. All I’m saying is that 5 or so years from now, I bet we are going to see a drastic decline in the amount of road rage incidents that occur on a daily basis. And that’s all thanks to people being able to eat their frustrations away during traffic jams. Now we’re out here saving lives. Yet some assholes out there think that 2019 is just the absolute worst. Idiots.