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Halsey Burns Down Twitter Dancing To Old Town Road In Assless Chaps

I’m so deeply in love with Halsey that I’d watch a video of her wearing a burka head to toe reading the dictionary and I’d think she’s a smoke. But throw her in assless chaps, a red stripper wig, and drop the most viral beat of the year behind her while she rolls that body, and if I had any life remaining to wreck, I would wreck it for her. Halsey looks like (and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, girl) the stripper at the club that you fall head over heels in love with. The one that you let yourself start thinking, “no for real though I think she actually likes me. I think she’s gonna call me.” And then she shakes that ass a little more and you give her the remainder of your bank account and the rest of your soul and while she gives you those lap dances you start to plan your life together. Shes like that except shes a megastar musician who puts out bangers. Sexy like a stripper but talented like a diva – thats a pretty decent sweet spot to live in if youre a chick.

Now the question is, what does Lil Nas X respond with? Imagine the roller coaster that guy has been on. From relative anonymity to super stars in leather booty shorts dancing to your song tagging you on twitter. I gotta be honest I dont even think I’d want that pressure. I dont want that smoke, literally. The amount of pressure you got to say something clever or witty or try to spit some game is enormous. Granted Lil Nas X absolutely murders twitter and has handled the meteoric rise very well by being very funny and honest on twitter, but still you see that notification come through and you gotta be like “holy fucking shit.” I mean, what a world. Drop some bass behind some simple guitar strums, conjure up some controversy, collab with a Cyrus, and watch the money and the attention from dimes like Halsey roll in. God Bless America. God bless country music. God Bless Halsey.