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Freshly Legal: The Top 10 Hottest 18-20 Year Olds In The World

Sometimes, beggars can’t be choosers and soldiers can’t be boozers. Here are the top-ranked hotties who can legally go to the polls or the casting couch but not the clubs or the ale house.


***HONORABLE MENTION***

Madison Beer, 20

The singer/songwriter turned 20 in March and has over 12 million followers on Instagram.


Isabelle Mathers, 20

The Australian model also turned 20 in March but only has a measly 1 million Instagram followers.


Bella Harris, 19

Bella Harris might be a little too young for VIP bottle service and a little too old for Drake, but other rap stars can officially date the teen model without worrying about pesky lawsuits or peddy allegations.


THE TOP 10 HOTTEST 18–20 YEAR OLDS IN THE WORLD

10. Mia Melano, 19

Melano (Curvy Beauty Hooks Up With BBC After Party) might not be able to get past the bouncer, but she can bouncer ass on the gigantic, throbbing cocks of male pornstars on film for the entire world to see. She can also legally blow someone to pieces while fighting in war. Just no stepping foot into bars or clubs!


9. Tinky Winky (UK), 18

Say bruv, bout time to start swiping innit?! The extra thick British version of the ten-foot-tall terrycloth teletubby celebrated its 18th birthday in February and is finally eligible for dating apps like Tinder and Grindr.


8. Fleshlight, 20

The 20-year-old artificial sex organ has exploded in popularity since reaching the legal age of consent in 2017. After years of platonic relationships with the promiscuous product, adult orgasm fans can finally rejoice in having legal sex with their foxy Fleshlight friends. Just don’t try to take one out for drinks beforehand!


7. Baby Bottle Pop, 20

Despite retaining its infantile name and size since birth, the 20-year-old sugar phallus can legally fuck and (thanks to its detachable dick head) get fucked by fellow adult candies (your move, push pops) and candy lovers alike.


6. Cousin Skeeter, 20

Birthed by Nickelodeon Studios in 1998, the notoriously horny heartthrob hand puppet is finally old enough to dick down his endless amounts of obsessive female stans and groupies.


5. Limewire, 18

The lovably unpredictable and tragically discontinued peer-to-peer file sharing service, which just celebrated its 18th birthday on May 3rd, can not only download low-resolution porn to your family computer, but it can legally star in it now too. Just keep it away from the Corona!


4. Furby, 20

Over the course of its lifetime, the 20-year-old electronic hamster-owl hybrid blossomed from an awkward Happy Meal toy to a fierce, fully-domesticated robotic vixen.


3. Now That’s What I Call Music! 6, 18

Gone are the days of simply fucking to the sensual sounds of smash hits like Yellow by Coldplay and With Arms Wide Open by Creed. As of April 3rd, nostalgic music fans can legally fuck the 18-year-old album itself. Just don’t forget the lube! With a circumference of only 1.8 inches, the CD ROM’s lone orifice might be a tight squeeze for some.


2. Heinz EZ Squirt, 20

Sick and tired of the boring sex and watery pre-cum that comes with fucking regular Heinz ketchup bottles? I know I am! Spice things up in the bedroom and get a load of E-Z Squirt’s freakishly tasty “Funky Purple” and “Blastin Green” flavors, which both turned 20 this year and can be purchased on the dark web for limited bitcoin.


1. TI-89 Calculator, 20

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The girthy 7.3 inch Texan stud has been legally helping desperate college girls finish (sexually and mathematically) for two years now, but it still can’t purchase them a can of Twisted Tea or a bottle of UV Blue.


***ALMOST LEGAL***

Lego Spider Man, 17 (turns 18 on June 9th)


Joe Dirt DVD, 17 (turns 18 on August 28th)


The War in Afghanistan, 17 (turns 18 on October 7th)


Vanilla Coke, 17 (turns 18 on September 15th)