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Parents Put Cameras in Their Son's Room to Stop All the Masturbating

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SourceAn Alaskan teen on Reddit is seeking legal advice after his parents set up security cameras in his bedroom and bathroom to make sure he no longer masturbates.

“What can I do?” he asked in the subreddit r/legaladvice. “I’m 15 and think I should be allowed to touch my own body, this is embarrassing and destroys my privacy … Please help.”

At the beginning of May, his parents caught the teen masturbating—a normal behavior his parents are apparently against. He wrote that his parents have taboo beliefs regarding sexual activities before marriage but that he learned “some things” off the internet because he wasn’t even allowed to be in sexual education classes.

Ha! Naive fools! Did you really think that this little scheme of yours would work? Your Parental Shame skills are no match for the awesome might of his Teenage Urge power! A 15-year-old’s horniness is a force of nature. Trying to stop him from masturbating with security cameras is like trying to hold back the tide with a dirty look or stop the Earth’s rotation with an eyeroll.

Your plan was doomed from the start because you not only underestimated the primal urges you are trying to defeat, but overestimated your own abilities. Do you really think you could have the willpower to watch while your precious baby boy does that? To sit there, monitoring hours of boring teenaged inactivity waiting for the moment that he defiles himself? And then what? You look him in the eye and have a conversation about it? Not a chance. And it will happen. Because not even the idea of your parents catching you is enough to stop the basest instincts of the human teenager.

My advice is you do what every normal parent does. Pretend it’s not happening. Take down your nanny cams and forget you ever mentioned it. Knock before you enter his room. Never open a bathroom door without asking if anybody’s in there. Denial is one of the most useful tools at a parent’s disposal as you navigate your way through the tricky, reef-filled, shark-infested waters of the most hormonal times in your child’s life. It’s how my mom got through it. It’s how I got through it. It’ll work a lot better than this Jagoff Big Brother scheme you’re pulling.

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