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John Henry's Boston Globe Drops Its Motion to See Mr. Kraft's Dong

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A statement from John Henry’s Boston Globe:

Boston Globe now desires to withdraw as intervenor in this matter. For purposes of clarification, Boston Globe is withdrawing individually and not on behalf of or in conjunction with any other media intervenor.

When the Globe joined the motion, authorities were explicit in describing the case as part of a human trafficking investigation. Though the Globe had no intentions to air videos of a sexual nature, we believed it important to push for public access to evidence that, under Florida law, should be placed in the public realm.

Authorities have now said the charges against Robert Kraft are not part of a human trafficking case.

Well that took awhile. We could’ve used this a couple of months ago. But I guess doing the right thing eventually is better than continuing to do the wrong thing. Seeing Henry’s baseball team get stiffed on Opening Day by the Patriots Holy Trinity should’ve clued Henry into the fact that they were onto his two faced, double dealing, back stabbing frenemy bullshit and he could’ve gotten his lawyers to drop the motion then with one phone call. Failing that, the nanosecond the prosecutors admitted they had no human trafficking because there was none might have been a good opportunity.

So what gives. Why do this now and not weeks ago? I have a couple of theories.

One, is public pressure finally got to John Henry. Do I deserve all the credit for that? Have I written about his hypocritical treatment of the fellow owner he claims to be friends with? Have I talked about the vileness of Dr. Creepy going to court to see the video of a 77-year-old philanthropist’s dong more than anybody? Have I railed against the Globe for trying to invade a citizen’s privacy? Am I a champion of the individual’s right to protection against the abuse of governmental power? Am I a hero?

That’s not for me to decide. I’ll let others praise me for my unrelenting crusade on his one. Somebody else plan my parade. I’m just a humble man with a keyboard and a cause. You used the word “hero,” not me.

Second, it seems like an awfully gigantic coincidence that this announcement comes the morning after John Henry was doing this:

President Trump Hosts 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox At White House

When a newspaper you own’s first order of business as soon as you get back from grabassing with Mr. Kraft’s longtime friend the President of the United States is to drop its court battle to watch him ejaculate, there’s a connection there. It strains credulity to think there’s no connection.

Obviously I’m guessing. And no one will ever know the truth. But if Trump stepped in for his friend and get the Globe off his wang, then good for him. That’s not just being a good friend, it’s the proper use of the power of his office. It’s standing up for a persecuted man against the press out to humiliate him over a misdemeanor offense.

Now if maybe some other politician to get Henry to knock off this horsecrap too, I’ll start respecting the man.

John Henry 3