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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Chick Who Enjoys Naked Hikes & Mushrooms?

TSGMeet Taylor Powers. The college student, 21, had to be rescued yesterday afternoon off a Colorado mountain after she ingested mushrooms, stripped off her clothes, and scuffled with two classmates with whom she had been hiking. After receiving a 911 call that a female hiker was “high on mushrooms and in distress,” Boulder County Sheriff’s Office deputies and other assorted rescue personnel (35 in total) responded to Chautauqua Park. Powers was located by a park ranger who discovered that the University of Colorado undergrad had “removed all of her clothing and was being restrained” by two male companions. Rescuers had to handcuff the unruly Powers, who struggled as she was placed in a rescue basket. Cited for unlawful consumption of a controlled substance, Powers was transported to a Boulder hospital, where she was treated and released last night.

These two “male companions” might be the luckiest son of a bitches on the planet. Listen, I get the plan fellas. A couple bros bribing a smoke like Taylor Powers with some psychedelics to come on a mountain hike & get Eiffel Towered is a kick-ass Sunday. But as soon as this chick started losing her shit, I’d have hightailed it off a cliff. Why they stuck around is a mystery to me. Two dudes pinning a naked college chick to the ground against her will is not a good look when the authorities arrive. I’m not taking that chance. I don’t need to be part of a misunderstanding. My motives in bringing this smoke into the mountains are obvious. Finger cuff city. And hot sluts don’t pay for their drugs, so it’s obvious where they came from & why she’s tripping balls. I’d rather just stuff my face with the rest of the shrooms, wander off & leave her to get eaten by a mountain lion than pin her down by her bare titties and rely on the old “it’s not what you think” routine.