Florida Man Tells Cop 'Fuck It. I'm Drunk, Take Me To Jail' After Crashing His Lawn Mower Into A Cop Car
Yo, I respect the hell out of the honesty here. Just straight up, yeah fuck it. I’m absolutely hammered and made a mistake. I know what the next step is. I mean, I don’t hate the play. Perhaps you hope the cop is going to be a bit lenient with you due to the honest initiative.
And I almost sided with this guy when I read more about it:
The officer said Anderson confessed to hitting the car. He then reportedly said, “F*** it, I’m drunk, take me to jail.”The officer obliged, but only after Anderson failed to complete a field sobriety test.
Police let Anderson attempt a breath test at the police department. He failed again. Authorities said he tried to deceive the test and didn’t provide an accurate sample.
Two sobriety tests? That’s just embarrassing. I mean the man already admitted to being drunk. That should count as a sobriety test in my book. How about the request? Sure we’ll take you to jail, but fail this for us first.
And if hitting a cop car with your lawn mower while shit faced isn’t Florida enough, we made sure to really Florida this story up.
The suspect claimed officers poisoned him, so police took him to a hospital. En route, police say he berated officers with profanity and racial slurs. When he finally managed to complete the breath test, his blood alcohol level came in at .241, which is three times over the legal limit.
If that weren’t bad enough, cocaine also showed up in his system. Investigators learned his license had been suspended since 1978.
No license since 1978! That was right around the last time the Knicks won a title. We hit all the checkboxes for Florida. Lawn mower, drunk, cocaine, racial slurs and just weird stats.