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Do the Patriots All Still Hate Each Other? Barstool Investigates

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Watching the Patriots hijinks at Churchill Downs over the weekend I can’t help but ask if the Pliability War ever actually happened, did I just dream it, or did someone go back through the Quantum Realm … I won’t finish that thought out of respect for the six people in the country who still don’t know where I was going with that. But I’m asking a serious question. Is anyone ought there still claiming there seriously was bad blood among these guys?

As a refresher: Tom Brady resented Jimmy Garoppolo’s very existence. He hated Bill Belichick for drafting him. For kicking Alex Guerrero off AirKraft One. For never giving him that coveted Patriot of the Week Award which doesn’t exist. Brady was growing more and more aloof. He barely talked to younger players and when he did they had to address him as “Sir.” Or possibly “Ser,” like Brienne of Tarth. He went over Belichick’s head to ownership and got them to force Belichick to trade Jimmy G. Meanwhile, Danny Amendola was sick of taking pay cuts, was fed up with Belichick’s cheap bastard ways and left for Miami in disgust.

That was Seth Wickersham’s story a year ago and everybody in the Boston media stuck with it. Lane Johnson chimed in and said the reason the Eagles won Super Bowl LII is because they have fun and the Patriots are miserable. Cassius Marsh ran his mouth about how awful playing in New England was and the unbridled joy he felt going to the 49ers, who were 1-11.

And now what do we see? Posing for photos like sorority sisters. Ear to ear grins. Fantastically attractive people with perfectly tailored attire. Cougars with cigars. The quarterbacks putting the Wolfpack back together. $100,000 bets. Just shenanigans all over the place. Meaning either they’re faking and still really resent each other. Or there really was a “riff” they kissed and made up. Or the entire narrative was grossly over-exaggerated bullshit from the get-go to get clicks and ratings and I was right about it all along. I know which scenario my $100,000 is on.