Father's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Crewnecks, Q-Zips and MoreSHOP NOW


Lets Attempt To Spinzone Last Night's Excruciating 18-Inning Mets Loss

New York Mets v Milwaukee Brewers

Okay, I know how everyone is feeling this morning. Tired, angry, tired AND angry. I am attempting to write this blog while sipping on a magnum of coffee as my two very energetic kids climb all over me looking to play while I stew over 25 guys in Milwaukee being unable to win a baseball game that took roughly 10 hours and a few years off my already likely shortened life.

However I am here to remind everyone that baseball fans (and Mets fans in particular) need to have the short term memory of a relief pitcher or cornerback. To quote the famous recording artist Jay-Z, it’s onto the next one. I know the next one is almost definitely going to end with the same result as last night. But if you can’t believe in your baseball team when it’s one game under .500 on Cinco de Mayo, you might as well just stop rooting for a baseball team. There are sooooo many better things to do during the spring and summer than worry about what a traveling group of baseball players do 162 times a year. Which is why I am going to do my best to spinzone last night’s excruciating 18 inning loss outside of saying “It’s just one game” because as we learned during last year’s play-in games, every win and loss matters in this fucked up meat grinder known as the Major League Baseball season.

1. Remember how I said today’s result is almost definitely going to end with the same result of last night? That’s because we have our worst starter on our team, Road Jason Vargas, matching up against the Brewers ace Zach Davies. In case that wasn’t enough to get your hopes down about today’s game, I imagine Josh Hader will be available out of the bullpen today to erase any potential late rally we put together while Christian Yelich may be ready to return to the starting lineup and continue his own personal home run derby at Miller Park after pinch hitting last night. So it appears there is about once scenario in the 14,000,605 possible outcomes that the Mets can win today. It’s not impossible but at least we won’t be let down if they lose. Lets just say I won’t be mad at anybody if they look to make plans this afternoon on this shitty, rainy day instead of staying inside and watching the Mets before our big arms get ready to deal out in San Diego wayyyy past my bedtime.


2. Pete Alonso clearly has the clutch gene.

Does a small part of me wish that Alonso just grounded out to first so the Mets had a fresh bullpen today and I had a solid 8 hours of sleep? No comment. But it’s nice to know Pete has big ol’ polar bear balls when the game is late and close.

3. Since yesterday’s marathon was basically two games, the Mets now have a whole bunch of extra innings of shitty play to realize that Amed Rosario and Brandon Nimmo need to either be benched or sent down to work on their fielding and hitting respectively. I actually liked both players heading into the season and still think they can be salvaged. But they are giving the Mets absolutely nothing right now. I have reached a point where I audibly gasp every time a ball goes anywhere near the shortstop position, which is obviously no way for a fan to live. And every time Nimmo is up, I am clapping from home every time he takes a pitch and screaming “Good Eye” like the parent of the worst Little League player to try to build his confidence through osmosis. You can have 1/4th of your lineup work out the kinks in their game when your starters are pitching well and your offense is hitting. But you cannot do it when one side of the equation isn’t carrying its weight, like has been the case somehow all fucking season. When the Mets pitch, they can’t hit. And when the Mets hit, they can’t pitch. That perfectly balanced shit may work for Thanos, but it does not work for baseball teams.

4. Speaking of Rosario, I officially have My Guy on offense and his name is Adeiny Hechavarria AKA Rosario’s replacement while he works on his fundies with Otto The Orange in Syracuse. I love everything about Hechy. His name, his glove, the goddamn golden rope he wears around his neck, his batflip

I also love that he was the only Met with the gumption to score a run in extra innings. I hated seeing Dom Smith get sent down to the Minors, but I hate watching Amed Rosario butcher an incredibly important defensive position like shortstop more. Leaving a guy that can do this in the Minors while your Big League shortstop gives the game away on a nightly basis is the epitome of crazy.


Hopefully we have that freak of nature with a decent enought bat manning short for a while, or at least a little until Jed Lowrie comes back or Amed Rosario watches all of Tom Emanski’s defensive drill videos.

5. At least Christian Yelich didn’t hit a walk off home run last night because that may have killed KFC. Actually you can make the case that if KFC died, the KFC Mush would have died with him and the Mets may have had a chance to become a team that isn’t cursed. So I take this part of the spinzone back. I don’t outright wish death on KFC but I will not actively be rooting against it.

6. Seth Lugo appears to clearly be our 2nd best arm in the bullpen behind Edwin Diaz and should be our setup man for the foreseeable future, even when Jeurys Familia comes back from the DL. I know Lugo had his struggles earlier in the season and the Mets are putting serious restrictions on how often he can pitch back-to-back, which is a problem considering our only other reliable arm in the ‘pen has that restriction too and they usually pitch in the same games. But once you get the back on the bullpen set, then you can deal with the Jenga tower that is the long and middle relief. I’ve said Lugo is my guy this year and nothing he has done over the last few weeks has changed that one iota. I love The Paradox.

7. I think the team found a successful rally cap technique, which scored us a go-ahead run in the 18th.


You can tell pitchers to throw strikes or ask hitters to change their approach to getting more contact. But finding a rally cap that has runs in it is damn near impossible. Baseball is as much about if not more about juju than physical talent, so you cannot discount how important this rally cap may be for the rest of the season.

8. At least today isn’t Mother’s Day. This isn’t a shot at moms around the world. But once the Mets schedule came out, I saw they were playing the Brewers on a Sunday in early May and thought this would be the C-Word day for KFC and a bunch of other Mets fans since Miller Park has become our new house of horrors, especially on the day for the Real MVPs of the family. Instead it’s a week earlier, so all those c*ncelling Mets fans won’t be able to call time a flat circle.

9. We now know for sure that Chris Flexen is our white flag reliever. Once he comes in the game, it is clear that Mickey has no bullets left in the chamber and we are either going to lose or start wheeling out position players to pitch. Like I said with Lugo, bullpens thrive once everyone knows their role and Flexen’s is clearly the Garbage Man of the ‘pen as well as the first dude to get sent to Triple A whenever we need a fresh Garbage Man. I can’t even get on the rest of the bullpen for last night because they put up straight 0’s after Wheeler left the game and even Flexen was getting squeezed by Angel Hernandez before Ryan Braun came to the plate with a flaming bat like Beric Dondarrion. That gaggle of relievers are going to buttfuck us plenty over the next 5 months, but last night they get nothing but #RE2PECT from me.

10. We finally have a place where we can let all our gripes out about the Mets. KFC and I can rant about this fucked up franchise on our new podcast We Gotta Believe and our listeners can unleash holy hell on the Mets Mayday line (917-524-6086) every time d’Arnaud Familia Rosario gags the game up. So if you need any outlet for your addiction to this baseball team, subscribe to us on iTunes or listen on Spotify.

FWIW this episode after the walkoff vs. the Reds seems like 100 years ago as does the entire Jesse Winker saga and Noah’s return to form. Now if you will excuse me, I have to throw up after spinzoning all the bullshit we watched last night