Man Dressed Up As Zombie Walks Into Traffic To Scare Drivers Aaaaaaannnnd He Got Hit

NUNICA, Mich. — Police in Ottawa County are looking for the driver who hit a Muskegon man Saturday night. The accident happened shortly before 8:30 p.m. on Main near Cass in Nunica. Investigators say Jeffrey Stiles, 45, of Muskegon was attending a Halloween party and decided to step outside to try and scare drivers with his zombie costume. While in the road, he was hit by a car. The driver of the car did not stop and was last seen going north on Main.

Oh goddammit. I feel like it’s just been taking for-ev-er for Halloween to come and go this year. Between the people dressing up weeks before the 31st, the idiots going out as Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, and now this jackwagon, I think I’m on to Thanksgiving. If you go wandering out on the road to ‘scare’ drivers, even if you aren’t in zombie costume, you deserve to get plowed over and possibly given the old reverse and run over again treatment. And once you throw on that zombie costume, all bets are off. This isn’t the type of thing you can just joke around with. We’re not that far away from having real life zombies on Earth as you’d think. In case you didn’t realize, Ebola is coming to town and I’m pretty sure that’s how zombies start. So in no world should the man who hit this dude with his car have to deal with any kind of legal ramifications. If anything, he should be heralded as a hero for thinking on his feet and taking swift action. Can’t be having zombies roaming the streets. Doesn’t matter whether they’re real zombies or fake zombies. Bunch of idiots.