The Badass Husband Of An MTV Teen Mom Shot And Killed Their French Bull Dog For Biting Their Daughter's Face

“I’m all about protecting my family, that is my life’s mission. Some people are worth killing or dying for and my family means that much to me.” -David Eason

David Eason can play for my team any fucking day of the week. You think this guy is going to let a french bulldog bite his daughter and live to bite her again?

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Grow up. That man is one condom away from being known not as the husband of a reality TV star, but for sniping down Somali pirates as they drift upon a tide of doom with Tom Hanks. Look at the size of him!

Dude’s a Clegane. And his family comes first, no matter what.

“I don’t give a damn what animal bites my baby on the face. Whether it be your dog or mine, a dog is a dog and I don’t put up with that shit.”

Of course PETA is gathering their pencils and readying for a war of petition-signing. They’ll be lining the streets with their stupid bibs and asking people “do you have a second for animal rights?” Sure Peta, que pasa? “Recently the Paul Bunyan husband of an MTV teen mom shot a french bulldog that bit their 2-year-old daughter’s face.” Oh no! “Horrible, right?” Yeah, I can’t believe the man of all men married someone from that show.

Look, I’ve had my tiffs with the bulldog lobby before, but I decided to play fair today. No reason to take any shots, given that David Eason already did! LOL.

Thankfully, Jenelle was able to turn it into a high-performing instagram post. Get those likes while you can, Jenelle.

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#heartbroken #distraught

PS- I recognize that this guy shooting a little french bulldog in the face is a little… extreme. But, uh, we’re not exactly talking about model citizens here. Something tells me that isn’t the first pet he’s shot.