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Time For KFC And The Stoolies To Declare War Once Again: Jesse Spector




Well my friends. Its about that time again. We’ve been in Peace Time for a couple months now. The Battle of the Hondos has subsided. The Midas Whale Wars have ended. But today, we all deploy for yet another tour of duty. The enemy this time is Jesse Spector and his minions. Buckle up. This is a long one, but if you’re a true Stoolie its well worth it.

For those who didn’t see it, yesterday I wrote a blog making fun of this Jesse Spector dude. Some NHL writer who wrote an article saying that the Islanders fan base was classless for chanting “Princess Crosby.” Claiming that if you call an athlete a girl its sexist and mean and not cool. So, being a rational human being with a sense of humor and an understanding of how the world actually works, I naturally wrote a blog saying calling an athlete a “girl” is about the most harmless form of trash talk in the world and if you’re offended by that you’re an uptight asshole. Here was the twitter war than ensued late last night:



Now at this point it was basically just me vs. Spector. Primarily because writers like him make me sick. How can you be a sports writer an be so out of touch with the nature of competition and trash talk? How can you sit down to write about this Islanders Penguins series, as a sports writer, and decide that your angle is gonna be “lets drag sexism and bullying into this discussion?” With all thats gone on in this opening round so far, thats what you think sports fans wanna hear about? Sports is the place where everyone goes to get away from that boring shit. Players, fans, guys, girls. Whoever. Its where you play to win and for once don’t have to worry about the PC bullshit that goes on in this world. Not to mention, I guarantee there are times during women’s sports where they call their opposition “Princess.” Because anyone with half a brain knows “princess” or saying “You throw like a girl” are just words and phrases that have come to mean “you’re not a tough competitor.” Its not a commentary on the capabilities of women. And if you still think that it is, you’re an absolute joke. Even worse than that, if you write that as a journalist and think you’re superior to other people who are just realistic about the meaning of words, you’re the biggest asshole in the world. And thats where Spector’s minions and the Stoolies joined in:

And really, that last tweet is what it all comes down to. Its that people like Jesse Spector and Harrison Mooney actually think they are better than people like you and I. They are uptight and politically correct to a nauseating extent. Not funny, pretty much flat out boring, and have to hang their hat on trying to be “insightful” when really all they’re doing is grasping for straws. Taking a harmless chant at a hockey game and turning it into some sexist, homophobic witch hunt. Take one look at a sarcastic, satirical website for guys and assume everyone is a caveman idiot. Hey fellas! Wake up! This is the sports world! Just because we’re normal dudes with a sense of humor and rational thoughts about sports and not everything is a sexism tragedy doesn’t mean we’re homophobic morons. Its sad really – the world has progressed to the point that even the majority of frat bros from Barstool aren’t really prejudice anymore, and guys like Jesse Spector and Harrison Mooney are still out there trying to pretend we are. Trying to make something out of nothing, because really thats all they got in this world. Not funny or interesting enough to really engage sports fans. Just try to stir up non-existent animosity because thats the only way they’re gonna be heard.

PS – I wonder how much it absolutely kills guys like Jesse Spector knowing pro athletes love our shit like 5 million times more than his mainstream “journalism.” Honestly, how does a hockey writer of all people think that real sports fans give a shit about his made up sexism crusade?

PPS – That line from Brad Kehoe about eating 6 salient crackers was maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on twitter. Just the perfect response to some uptight loser trying to say Stoolies aren’t smart or clever. I’m sure there was a handful of morons tweeting at these guys last night that were saying sexist or homophobic things, but Stoolies like Brad and tweets like that are really what Barstool is all about.

Follow along for any more of the fun that may ensue: @KFCBarstool