Dude Shits All Over The Subway Bench

Hey we’ve all been there before. Sometimes you’re so fucked up you don’t know where you are or what you’re doing. All you know is that you gotta go. Sometimes you end up peeing in the fridge or in the corner thinking its the toilet. Other times you drop trou and take a shit all over the bench on the subway. Don’t judge. I’d rather dump some peanut butter on the seats of the 4,5,6 than be the guy who died trying to shit in between subway cars, no? I mean you hear all the time “Walking between subway cars is prohibited” right? That voice never says anything about pooping on the seats. Just following rules really.