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Mobile Russian Billboard Causes Over 500 Crashes in One Day Because Boobs

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TheWeek – A Russian mobile advertising company garnered a bit too much attention recently when it sent out a fleet of 30 trucks bearing an ad promoting the effectiveness of their own truck-side ads. The ad on the trucks featured a woman cupping her naked breasts, with only a green translucent band covering the nipples. The copy simply states, “They attract.” That slogan ended up being a bit too on-the-nose, as the trucks with the raunchy ads were credited with causing distractions leading to 517 car accidents in a single day in Moscow, the Daily Mail reports.

And just like that, BOOM, the advertising game has been changed. For once in my life, I gotta hand it to those vodka guzzling Russian bastards. They got this one about as right as humanly possible. Half the time I don’t even notice billboards anymore. When you’ve got the road to focus on as well as your twitter and text messages (#X i’m on the road), billboards kinda fall by the wayside. The billboard industry has been in distress since the invention of the smartphone–I’m not sure if that’s real or not but it sounds right–and here’s their very simple, very primitive solution. Tig ol’ bitties right up in your face. I’m surprised the amount of accidents these perky 30 trucks caused didn’t have a comma in it. Am I looking down at my phone anymore? You’re goddamn right I’m not. The ad company who sent these out will never have to worry about business ever again all because of a quick 24-hour campaign. Genius. Sure, they may have to throw a little compensation to all the car owners involved in those accidents but that’ll ultimately end up being chump change compared to what they’re about to start making. Dolla dolla bills y’all. Or whatever Russians use. Every company in the world will be making the switch on to mobile titty ads once they realize how much attention they draw. Feminists be damned; it’s a new era, the mobile titty ad reigns supreme, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.