Worst Person Wednesdays: People Who Blast Their Music Out Loud On The Train

Once your phone starts “acting up” after the release of the new iPhone, Apple is kind enough to include a complimentary pair of headphones with your $1,100 purchase. Maybe you prefer the air pods, the single-use headphones from Walgreens, or you’re investing in some ear muffs by Dre instead. Either way there are too many options out there for people to still be boomboxing off their phones.

Riding the L is no pony ride to begin with. There’s people using the emergency door for non-emergencies, a reading from the book of Corinthians going on, and now someone is providing background music for it all. Last thing anyone needs while they’re butts to nuts “ope”-ing their way through a stampede or mouth-breathing in the middle of a hobo bed & breakfast is to have to listen to someone else’s morning shuffle. You’re either forced to jam to some indy pop band one of your co-passengers “discovered” or the sweet symphonies of Lil Xanax bumping through a Droid speaker. Even if you have your own headphones to drown it out, it’s more the fact we’re all supposed to just disregard this disturbance of peace going on in a place that’s already a full-fledged war zone.

The public DJs are not exclusive to the Blue and Red lines. Bus stops and fast food restaurant dining areas are also susceptible spots for them to take stage. Note that the richer you get the less relatable this blog becomes. It’s bad enough I’m Steven Glasnburg’ing in a Wendy’s lobby without your personal jukebox blasting, now I have to listen to you rummage through Instagram stories as your Pandora ads finish up? I don’t know if that would even slide during The Purge. Then if you’re lucky he/she will take a break to talk to their buddy on Speaker so you and the rest of their audience can hear.

Blaring music from your phone in public should be outlawed by now. If their fire song isn’t inciting the riot then the lack of self awareness alone is. The victims of this Wednesday all suffer from main character syndrome and it’s above all of our tax brackets to be handling the problem ourselves. No one passed you the aux chord and you’re not even taking any suggestions from the crowd. As much as we all enjoy being extras in your music video, all good things must come to an end. The only time a volunteer DJ is at any time acceptable is at the pregame.

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Last week’s Worst Person Wednesdays: The Friend Who Doesn’t Have Uber.

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