Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central || Thursday, October 6th, 2022 Presented by FireballWatch Now
The Dozen Season 3 Kicks Off from Philadelphia | Matchups 1 & 2WATCH NOW

Life Lesson: Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, Put Your Testicles Near Tim Tebow's Foot

Being the man of faith that he is, you’d figure that Tim Tebow is against all forms of birth control. But a few years in the minor leagues will change ya, and now here he is just performing some casual vasectomies as he’s getting ready to take off to 2nd. Hate the feeling of wearing a condom but also don’t want to have any unplanned pregnancies? Just get hired as a 1st base coach for whichever team Timmy Teebs is playing for and you’ll be well on your way to raw doggin’ glory.

The real question here is what is buddy doing standing so close to Tebow in the first place? It’s like at a school dance when the chaperones are telling you to leave some room for Jesus. At least from this angle, it looked like we were just mere inches away from full front-to-butt contact. You put your junk that close to any unsuspecting man’s rump and you’re going to catch a heel to the nuts. That’s just a fact of life, and unfortunately this coach had to find that out the hard way.

Sidenote: There’s nothing better than a perfectly timed and executed Cup Check. Really brings the whole team together. Obviously the guy who just got rocked in the nuts is going to take the least amount of enjoyment out of it. But it’s always a crowd pleaser. Always lightens up the mood and gives the boys a solid laugh. Tim Tebow kicking his 1st base coach in the balls actually just proves that he’s an elite teammate.