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Big Brain James Holzhauer Broke The Million Dollar Winnings Mark Last Night After Only 14 Games

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HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC!!!!!

Welcome to the Millionaire’s Club, James Holzhauer! Okay, there is no way a poor blogger like myself should be welcoming anybody to a Millionaire’s Club. Regardless, last night Big Brain James became the 2nd contestant to reach $1 million after Ken Jennings, who did it in 30 games compared to James’ 14. Oh yeah and James also scored the 2nd-highest single game winnings amount yet again, which knocked his old 2nd highest score to 3rd, his 3rd highest score to 4th, and so on and so forth. So for those keeping track at home, Big Brain James has the top seven one-day scores in Jeopardy history after 14 games and would likely have a shit ton more money if he was betting to win as much as possible instead of shouting out his family members birthdays and whatnot. That is simply INSANE. Jeopardy even published some of James’ stats and they are the typical mindfuckery that we have come to expect from him.

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Averaging almost as much as the all-time record is just a preposterous stat. But when you have a 97% response accuracy and mix it with averaging almost $10,000 per Double Jeopardy bet, everything starts to make sense. James Holzhauer is the perfect Jeopardy player. He is brilliant, gutsy, and ultimately endearing because of his relationship with his family and his clear love of the show. I compared his stats to those of Wilt Chamberlain both on the hardwood and in the bedroom. But I honestly think that may be selling the Holzhauer Howitzer short because unlike Wilt, he wins it all constantly to the point we don’t even know if his opponents are good players or not. Which is why we need the inevitable Ken Jennings vs. James Holzhauer matchup. Put it on prime time or PPV, I don’t care. But I need to know which of these guys is Wilt and which of these guys is Russell.