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Zeke Really Wants Everyone To Know He's Not Actually Fat Which Makes Me Think He Is

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Just for the record, Zeke is definitely unbothered by the claims that he is fat. He wants everyone to know he’s in shape and this picture of him taken over the weekend of him looking like he was stung by a hive of bees is just a bad angle

Honestly, how can you look at that picture and not laugh? I mean I know in my heart of hearts he’s a pro athlete and one of the top .0001% of athletic people in the world, but he objectively looks fat in there. But he wants everyone to know he is in fact in shape, and I’m not sure I buy it!


Anyone see a newspaper with the date on it? Anyone see his new tattoo of his face on his leg? And he could be leaning hard on the counter to get that scale where he wants it, ol’ weight loss trick.

But hey, if Zeke wants us to believe he’s in the best shape of his life, let’s let him. Hey Zeke, we totally believe you. Maybe work out less, you’ve earned it. Don’t lift another weight til September, you need the time off. You’re in such good shape, everyone calling you fat is a loser and a moron, so prove them wrong by taking the next few months off. That’s how you’ll own them. I promise.