In today’s episode of “Bob Nightengale is the Worst At His Job Of Anyone Who Has Ever Had a Job” Bobby fucked up the Vlad Guerrero Jr. call-up news. I almost think we’re at a point where real news falls apart because people don’t want Nightengale to be right. There’s almost no other explanation for it. If Nightengale tweets out that the sun is going to rise tomorrow morning, there’s a very good chance the sun explodes at that very second and ends all life on Earth.
Here are just a few of Bob’s recent reports that have just gone the complete opposite way lately.
He said Luis Severino was confident he’d be back in two weeks back in March. At this point we’re praying Severino is back in the second half of the season, if everything goes well. That’s best case scenario. Bob said he’d be back a month ago. Laughably not even close.
Bob actually had Harper to the Phillies for a while and then all of a sudden backed off on February 28th. He said the Dodgers were the new favorites in the race. Hours later, Harper signed with Philadelphia.
Not only did Harper sign with Philly, but Bob then said he had an opt out in the deal, along with it being for 10 years. Harper signed a 13 year deal that famously did not have an opt out (the part everyone was buzzing about). Couldn’t have been more wrong about the whole situation.
The best one until today was Bob saying the A’s were optimistic Kyler Murray was going to report to spring training that week. He tweeted that article three minutes AFTER Murray announced on his own twitter that he was headed to the NFL. Honestly it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen unfold. What a moment in history.
The icing on the cake was this typo Bob had last July. The worst possible typo you could have made in that situation. It wasn’t a wrong report, but for anyone for this to happen to it had to be Bob.
Fucking Bob Nightengale man, what a superstar. I’m addicted to him getting the wrong information. I cannot get enough of it. You could play the ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ music whenever he tweets.
In regards to Vlad Jr. it is insane he’s not in the big leagues yet. What are they possibly waiting for?