Pre-Draft Scouting Of The Planets In The Solar System
(real quick before we get started in the blog…That gif…whoa! Call me stupid, but I never knew that the sun was like a comet rocketing through the universe and just dragging all of the planets with it, but I guess this is accurate. I thought it was a disk like we’ve always been shown. The things you learn just searching for a simple gif of the Solar System for a blog on the internet, fucking a. Anyways, on to the blog).
The two biggest events in the world this week are on a collision course that only happens once in a blue moon. Of course I am talking about Earth Day and the NFL Draft. With Elon Musk, China, India, and the Unite States revamping space exploration it’s time to set your planetary draft boards. Who are you going to take first overall? How do you build your systems? A lot of debate going out there and the mock drafts are all over the place. First things first, you gotta have a great war room. Historically, that has been a strength for America
And the guy running the show has a haircut you can set your watch to
Let’s get right to the Big Board
9) Pluto:
Size: 1485 mile diameter
Speed: 248 years to orbit the sun, slow as fuck
Temperature: -369 F…bear weather
The ultimate tweener. Is it a big asteroid? Is it a small planet? Is it a dwarf? A moon? Many area scouts aren’t convinced this big rock has a position at the next level. When you’re small and slow it’s tough to carve out a position. Pluto has some great intangibles. It’s got water on the 3rd of it’s surface and is surrounded by 5 moons. That’s a lot of moons to keep around and speaks to Pluto’s character. Big time team guy, but you probably don’t want to spend a draft pick on it. You won’t regret bringing Pluto into camp as a free agent though.
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8) Mars
Size: 4217 mile diameter
Speed: 1.88 year Orbit, 24.6 hour day
Temp: -200F to 32 F
Everyone is obsessed with Mars. Mars shows up GREAT at the combine. Great measurables. Gravity…you bet. Distance from the sun? Goldie Locks as fuck. Mars seems to have a lot going for it, but you play. to. win. the. game. and Mars has never produced. No life. No real water to speak of. Mars is a bust. Nothing but unfulfilled potential. If Mars had a 1/10th the heart of Earth it could’ve been an All-American. It feels like Mars is going to be a high pick, but personally I would take Mars off my draft board.
7) Mercury
Size: 3030 mile diameter
Speed: orbit 0.24 years, revolution 58.65 days
Temp: -300 F to 800 F
An undersized planet who can play inside or go outside. I mean just look at this orbit
This planet wants to play outside the numbers more often than not. Great top end speed, but lacks quickness. Takes 58.65 days just to do a planetary equivalent of a 3 cone drill. The only problem with Mercury is inconsistency. Too hot or cold. All or nothing.
6) Uranus
Size: 32,000 mile diameter
Speed: Rotation 17.24 hours, orbit 84 years
Uranus is a project. One of the biggest planets in the system, but with the lowest density. In short, Uranus needs to hit the weight room, but it has a great frame to fill out if Uranus puts the work in. There are serious questions is Uranus will put that work in though. Uranus marches to beat of its own drum. All of the other planets rotate around their axis in a similar fashion to the sun. Uranus rotates at 99degrees. That’s basically sideways. Nobody knows if Uranus has that fire burning within. Literally…the only temperature taking was at cloud level because the planet is a frozen gas giant.
5) Venus
Size: 7522 mile diameter
Speed: orbit .62 years, revolution 243 days
There’s a lot to like about Venus. Great-to-speed ratio that all of the scouts drool over. The problem is the wear and tear. When you orbit the sun that fast the years pile up quickly. Too many reps at full speed will cause any planet to age quickly. Especially when you’re playing in extreme conditions and Venus has a surface temp of 855 degrees F. Doubtful Venus makes it to its second contract healthy.
4) Neptune
Size: 30,760 mile diameter
Speed: orbit 165 years, rotation 17.24 hours
Neptune can be an enforcer. Patrols the outside of the system and has an intimidating look. Freezing cold temps, high speed solar winds, and giant storms that last for 5 years at a time. One thing you gotta be careful about with Neptune…it’s moons. Some moons is good, 14 moons and you’re starting to talk about an entourage. That can be a distraction.
3) Jupiter
Size: 88,736 mile diameter, density 1326kg/m3(thicccccccck)
Speed: Rotation 9.8 hours, orbit 12 years
Jupiter is a true building block of a system type of planet. Just an absolute monster. ENORMOUS, thick, and great acceleration. An interior planet that just soaks up all potential threats. Gravity so strong that it sucks in asteroid blitzers that would be headed to Earth and crushes them. Ultimate team guy. The Olin Kreutz of planets.
2) Saturn
Size: 74,500 mile diameter
Speed: Rotation 10.67 hours, orbit 29.5 years
Not as big as Jupiter. Not as a fast as Mercury. The results speak for themselves though. Saturn is a winner. Just look at the rings. 7 of them. You can’t teach that.
1) Earth
Size: 7926 mile diameter
Speed: Rotation 24 hours, orbit 365 days
Franchise planet. Versatile and gives you everything you could possibly need. You want oxygen to breath? Call Earth. Water to drink? Earth is covered in it. Goldie Locks zone, you bet. It’s the greatest planet there ever was. That is why we have a day named after it. Shout out to Earth and it’s perfect conditions for sustaining life. Number one overall pick in any planet draft.