Gloria! The Blues Have Sent The Jets To The Golf Course

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“Gloria!!! Gloria!!!”… the sound has been echoing in my head for the past two weeks and now we get to try to do it again. This team feels so different than any I can remember and the vibe of the city after the game was so confident and alive. I can’t get enough. But let’s start at the beginning.

Saturday was one of the most beautiful days I’ve seen in quite some time, and I’m not just saying that because I have to live in the trash infested shithole known as New York right now. There was not a goddamn cloud in the sky and as strange as it might seem, the momentum for a series win was building from the moment the sun came up!


As soon as I saw Towel Man’s swagger walking around during warmups, I knew it was going to be our night. The arm just looked lively and he had the aura of a man ready to eliminate an NHL team.

The atmosphere was ELECTRIC! Not that this is breaking news, but there is nothing cooler on Earth than playoff hockey. If you don’t get the chills and energy coursing through your body, you might want to check yourself for a pulse.

The Blues got into it RIGHT away with Jaden Schwartz scoring 23 seconds into the game! 2 goals in 38 seconds of game time. Anyone whose been to a nerve-wracking sporting event where seasons are on the line, there is NOTHING better than a quick goal/run/touchdown to take the edge off everyone in attendance.


At that point, you know at least your guys are going to show up. There are no guarantees, but it gets the crowd rocking from the very beginning and the ice was tilted in the Blues favor. The Blues outplayed the shit out of the Jets from the jump and the energy kept building. After that early goal, Jaden Schwartz struck again halfway through the second and continued to show up HUGE when it matters most (This video is so sick).

Which he then followed up by walking and cutting across like its men’s league and putting the building into a hat throwing riot.


The party was on right?… well except for the Jets making everyone collectively shit their pants for the last 5 minutes. After getting pretty thoroughly dominated the entire game, the Jets made things interesting in the last few minutes. Blake Wheeler took a double minor with about 2 minutes left, seemingly sealing the Jets fate as they’d have to mount a 2 goal comeback shorthanded, but goddamn if it didn’t get dicey. Perrault fed Little and the Jets cut it to 3-2 with 30 seconds left.

But thank the lord, the clock ticked to zero and it was time for hand shakes and ass shakes.

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The little dude was dancing his little rat butt off back in NY.

As petty as it might be, I can’t tell you how awesome it is that the Winnipeg Free Press now has nothing to write about other than their riveting litter problem for the rest of the summer. The move they pulled on the day the series started to try and smear Jordan Binnington was a horse shit way to do business and looks like karma paid them back. Binnington is the biggest stud I can remember and has now officially won a playoff series as a starting goalie in the NHL. Imagine not knowing if you’re going to be in the ECHL to winning a playoff series as the starting goalie within a year’s time. What an absolute stud. I also may or may not have showed him this shirt later that night and he may or may not have loved it. Buy one now if you are officially not nervous.


The coolest thing about this series is how evenly the contributions were from top to bottom. Everybody produced and Schwartz coming alive to will the Blues to victory after a tougher year than he’s used to was beautiful. 4 straight goals in an NHL playoff series is worth however many more goals you wished he scored in the regular season. Unreal stuff from #17.

Ryan O’Reilly was such an absolute horse and you have to think he is loving being “the guy” on this team after frustrating season in Buffalo. The dude collects faceoff wins like a hungry hungry hippo and scores huge goals, what more could you ask for from your #1 center in the playoffs?

The Big Rig Pat Maroon showed up all series just beating down the Jets and coming up with huge plays. The young guys Robert Thomas and Vince Dunn played like 10 year vets with so much poise and maturity. Obviously Petro, Parayko, and Bouwmeester were their usual consistent selves, but the play of guys like Edmundson, Gunnarsson, and Bortuzzo battling their ass off to beat down the Jets that elevates the team to the next level. They’ve been so great and shows why this team is chugging along like they have been since January.

From there the celebration was on. Downtown was buzzing from the moment the horn sounded until the sun came up. And trust me, because I saw it come up haha! On a personal note, Saturday was one of the most fun days of my life. I can’t honestly thank all of the St. Louis Stoolies enough. I’ve going to Blues games my entire life and to have that many people fired up and shouting out Boris and appreciating all of the STL Barstool stuff I’ve been doing was one of the coolest experiences of my entire life, from the bottom of my heart. We appreciate you and are going to keep building it up more and more.

I mean what were the odds on a Chinchilla who was sitting at this random pet store in New York City becoming a feature on the Jumbotron at Enterprise Center? Its absolutely surreal and I appreciate the absurdity so much. The boys are all buzzin right now.


P.S. You have to wonder what this dude is doing at this very moment.