This Well Trained Attack Dog Is Making All Other Pups Look Bad

 
I would like to shake this pup’s paw, but relax a little man. He’s making all the normal, household mutts who eat their own vomit look like another species. Actually, I outright refuse to believe this is a real dog. Not a chance. The Lassies in this world are far out numbered by the Santa’s Little Helpers. It has to be some sort of midget in a dog costume. Possibly an advanced Japanese dog robot that got sidetracked from it’s original intention of giving blowjobs to the homeless, as in line with any recent Far Eastern invention.

Maybe I just haven’t been around any trained police dogs, but I’ve seen my fair share of canines ranging from delightfully intelligent to blissfully retarded. The smart one’s are obviously great. The dumb dogs, as lovable they may be, are a struggle for sanity. The last woman I dated had a chihuahua mixed breed where every time she heard a police siren she would instinctively go on notice more than any black male in human history, sprint under the bed, and shit her brains out. The rodent would then track her feces all over the apartment, including the bedding, then not only expect, but demand a treat. Of course the woman still thought she was the cutest thing ever because she’s a fucking helpless piece of tits, but the damn thing had an IQ equivalent to a toaster or Vince Young. Meanwhile, this damn mutt’s following instructions better than any human child adult I know. Good for his owner, I suppose.