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Does This Look Like the Face of a Guy Who Threw His Iguana at a Restaurant Manager?

SourcePainesville police have arrested a man whose identity has not yet released for disturbing the peace April 16 at Perkins Restaurant, 700 Mentor Ave.

The 49-year-old was apprehended after he removed an iguana from underneath his shirt and began swinging the reptile by the head and tail over his head, according to a department Facebook post. When asked to lower the lizard, the suspect threw the animal at the store manager and fled the restaurant.

Officers were able to track the male down along the 900 block of Mentor Avenue shortly after the incident, according to the post. Police say that the suspect resisted arrest.

The iguana, nicknamed Cooper by the police department, was seized by officers and taken to the Lake County Humane Society where he will be checked for injuries.

Disturbing the peace? Is that all we can get this guy on, disturbing the peace? When a vicious and unprovoked iguana attack is reduced to the same charge you’d get for a loud argument, then it’s clear we need stricter Iguana Laws in this country.

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Charge this guy with something. Anything. Assault & Battery with a Dangerous Lizard. Carrying a Concealed Herbivore. Require background checks for purchase so we don’t have mentally unstable people walking around firing their docile, slow-moving pets at unarmed people. Have iguana buy back programs to get these creatures out of the hands of these dangerous criminals so citizens can feel safe.

Mostly I just want this 49-year-old off the streets. Look, we’ve all been there. There’s not a man, woman or child among us who hasn’t been frustrated by a restaurant manager. Making you wait forever. Taking someone who came in after you even though you’ve been waiting longer. And when you point to the sheet on the podium and say “See? That’s my name right there!” they ignore you and say your table will be ready in a moment and keep you hanging. Sitting you right next to the kitchen door. But the proper way to handle it is to silently yell at them with your inside head voice or wait until you sit down and then spend the whole meal complaining behind their back. Not swinging your lizard over your head like Mjolnir and then flinging it at them. Violence is never the answer. Iguanas are pets, not weapons. And how many more restaurant managers must suffer before we finally do something about it?